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Click on a problem to go down the page to the answer. If your problem isn't here, try the other problem pages on the menu above.

Penis size & weak ejaculation at 15 years old?

I have a small penis at 16

12 years old and worried about masturbating

15 year old masturbation problems

Worried about dark ring around penis

Is it normal to have a loose scrotum and one testicle bigger than the other?

I'm 14 years old - is masturbation harmful?

15 years old and worried about masturbation

How normal is teenage masturbation to nude pictures of girls?

Am I normal at 14 with no ejaculations? Also, I'm feeling attracted to my (male) friend?

Unusual method of masturbation

14 years old and not developing pubic hair

Unusual semen at 13 years old

Aroused and unfulfilled - "blue balls"?

Burning sensation in urethra

Will I run out of semen?

Too many erections!

Feeling attracted to boys

How do I masturbate?

Spots on my penis

I can't ejaculate!

Penis size at 16 years old

Girlfriend damaged my penis!

Sex with a woman I don't love didn't work!

Feeling attracted to guys, unsure of my size, and troubled by erections in the showers!

Oh no, I can't ejaculate!

Experimenting with another guy

Too excited with my girlfriend

Can't get an erection with my date

Too sexy for my shoes

My penis hurts after masturbation

My penis is too hard and too small

No, it is too small!

It's my first time!

What is this slippery stuff coming out of my penis?

Circumcised or not - is it normal?

Am I gay?

I just can't accept that I am gay!

Am I circumcised?

Help, am I gay?

I just discovered smegma

I am 18 and have never had an orgasm through masturbation!

Foreskin problems from masturbating

A bent penis - what can I do?

White or yellow spots on the penis skin

Another bent penis

Is this a normal erection?

Is my penis normal size?

Fordyce spots - white spots on the penis

Will my penis grow?

A question about penis size - at 14, has it stopped growing? Will I get bigger?

My bent penis is killing me

Bump on the penis

What are these spots on my penis?

My penis size changes all the time - is it because I have too much fat?

My penis has swollen - help, have I got cancer?

White spots!

Foreskin and coronal rim problems - adhesions, spots and more!

My frenulum has torn!

My penis bends - help!

My twisting testicle

Have I gone through puberty at 18?

My penis is so small, I'll never get a girl!

One ball bigger than the other

Has masturbation ruined my penis?

Penis erection is vertical

My penis is too damn' small!

Can masturbation stop a penis growing?

My swelling penis!

JackinWorld can be found at www.jackinworld.com

Penis size & weak ejaculation at 15 years old?

Q: Hi, I am a 15 year old male and my penis is 5 inches erect. My question is that a normal size or is that small for my age? It is also about 4 and a half inches in girth if I measured right. Also when I cum it doesn't shoot out of my penis it just dribbles out. There is a lot of semen normally but I want to be able to make it shoot out all the time. Is there something I can do to make it shoot out - like an exercise or something?

A: All this is normal. The thing you can do to improve ejaculation is the PC muscle exercises described on the male sexuality page; they are easiest to do when your penis is erect and they will, if practiced consistently, make your ejaculation a lot more powerful. You can also read about how far men shoot when they ejaculate. 

En Espanol: Problemas del pene - problemas y salud del pene


I have a small penis at 16

Q: Hey, I'm 16 years old, 4" inch erect, 4" girth. And I wanted to know if this was a problem, and at what age does it stop growing? Thanks for responding.

A: I know this is a sensitive subject. I have dealt with a lot of men and especially those with penis problems in my work as a counselor, so I know how sensitive this issue can be for teenagers and adults. I think you probably realize you are below "average" for your age. However, an average means of course that some will be bigger, and some smaller. So that isn't really helpful - some men will always be below average, some above, and you can't do a lot about it. It's like the size of, say, your feet: controlled by nature, and your inheritance. So, that raises the question, is it "normal", and will it get bigger. I don't know the answer, but maybe I can offer you some thoughts.

First of all, have you developed pubic hair, a deeper voice, and hair on your body (armpits, etc). Are you masturbating and ejaculating? Do you have a higher sex drive than at 11 or 12? I ask these questions because first and foremost if the problem is that you haven't started puberty, you need to get help or advice from a doctor. And I think the same is true if you started puberty late, or you feel it isn't going as it should. By the way, I don't think you can use penis size as a measure of that - I think things like testicle growth and body hair, and sex drive and masturbation are more likely to be signs of pubertal development. Now, I can't help you with that aspect - you have to decide for yourself if there is a problem (not just based on penis size, we will come to that in a minute), and, if there is, get the advice of a doctor.

Now, if you feel happy that puberty generally is going well, this leads to the question of penis size. I think it fair to say that penis growth stops at about 17. One source of information that may be helpful to you is at www.jackinworld.com Find the site map, then go into "past surveys" and find the puberty survey. This will tell you lots of things about development in the teen years, and maybe give you an idea how you are doing.

Suppose, having said all that, that your penis is now as big as it ever will be? I guess that is what you are wondering. But the fact is that it would not be abnormal. If you read the size page of this website, you will find that your size of penis, however it makes its owner feel, is actually quite common. 0.5 per cent of men have a penis of four inches long when erect, which makes about 500,000 men in America alone. By the way, there would be 2,500,000 men with a penis 4 and a half inches erect or less. The fact is, many of these guys have happy relationships with women who love them for more than just their dick size (like, their personality, loving natures, because they are great dads to their kids - whatever). I want to be realistic about this because it is true SOME women WILL think penis size is important - but then some women think having a husband with an income of over 250,000 dollars a year is important. Do you see what I am getting at? Women love different aspects of a man, and that is why I say, over and over, as many times as necessary, that penis size is mostly a male issue, not a female one.

So, is it a problem? The simple answer is that it is only a problem if it is affecting your ability to interact in some way with people, and you have said that you are basically shy of getting into a sexual situation, therefore I would say it is a problem! However, the other way of looking at the issue is not from your point of view, which will depend to a large extent on what reactions you get from others in sexual situations, but from the likely point of view of a woman. First let me say that I think you do need to accept that there are some women out there for whom things like penis size is important. This is inevitable, and whatever you think of this point of view, it is simply the case that some women believe it to be important. So you may meet women for whom it is an issue. But you need to remember that a woman who is taking the view that a physical characteristic like penis size outweighs the importance of a man's other qualities, like his caring nature, his sense of humor, and so on, is probably a superficial person anyway.

So, the question is, if you have these doubts, how can you get into a situation where you trust a woman enough to "reveal all"! The answer is that you will know when you meet that special someone who really cares for you, and the whole process will unfold naturally. And I think there is something else you can do as well which gives you power and control over your fears. Honesty is always the best policy in relationships, and when you trust someone enough to want to get sexual with them, you can make gentle hints about how you find it difficult to get intimate because you have been blessed with a penis on the smaller side. Her response to this will give you a good idea of how supportive she will be, and on the basis of that you can decide whether to go further or call the whole thing off. This may sound negative, but it is a lot better than getting hurt by a negative reaction after you have taken your clothes off! If you are thinking that it would be impossible to say such a thing, then I ask you to think about the fact that all of this relates to sexual intimacy - an expression of emotion between 2 people which deserves open and honest communication. People make themselves vulnerable when they get sexual, and some of the fear that attaches to this can be discharged by talking openly with your partner. I hope this helps. If you wanted a one line answer, though, here it is: penis size matters to some people, some of the time, and not at all to others.

Whether it matters to you or not will probably depend in many ways on how careful you are in picking your sexual partners, even if this means waiting a bit longer for the right moment! BTW, I know this may seem even more ridiculous, but is your Dad the kind of guy you could confide your fears in? He is a man, after all, and he will know where you are coming from. Don't worry if this idea seems to have come from another planet. I suspect most guys couldn't bring themselves to do this! However, I do think you might be surprised by the reaction if you broached the subject, but you know best whether this is a good idea or not.

From the tone of your message I would say you are an intelligent guy, so you may think I'm right but somehow you can't believe things will be OK for you. If so, have a look at the small penis forums for advice and support. You can find links to them on the size page of this website. You'll find support from guys who are successfully living with what nature has given them. You may even want to join the groups and get support if you need it!


12 years old and worried about masturbating

Q: I am 12 years old. When I masturbate the stuff that comes out is clear and looks like water but is sticky. Have I begun to produce sperm yet or is there something wrong?

A: This is quite normal. If a boy starts to masturbate early enough his first orgasms are dry, then he produces clear sticky fluid, and gradually the ejaculate becomes creamy white as his body matures. This creamy white fluid may be very thick at first, and often not mixed into the clear fluid, so it looks as though there are two liquids muddled together. The creamy fluid may appear any time up to the age of 15 or so. Oddly enough, the milky fluid is from your prostate gland, and does not in itself mean that you are producing sperm. There is no easy way of telling if you are producing sperm from the color of your semen, although of course you would expect it to be happening along with the production of the milky ejaculate. As you get older you may find a slight green or yellow tinge to the ejaculated fluid, and sometimes it may have little jelly-like blobs in it. All of this is quite normal.


15 year old masturbation problems

Q: Hi. I am 15 years old and I just started masturbating because now I seem to have the need for it. The third or fourth time I masturbated I started to notice that my penis has started to swell, mainly on the shaft just below the penis head. I was just wondering if this is normal.

A: I can't really say what is going on without more information, but in general terms I would say that if you are experiencing pain and swelling it may be because you are being a bit rough. If you are circumcised, use a bit of lubrication - baby oil, for example. You certainly ought to be able to enjoy your body, so if the problem continues, why not have a quick word with your doctor? Yes, I know .....it seems unbelievably embarrassing, but he will have seen it all before, and he isn't likely to be fazed by a normal query about a normal male problem. I mean, nearly all men and boys enjoy masturbation. You might also like to surf through Jackin'World which is a very educational and tasteful site for boys and men who are learning to enjoy their sexuality.


Worried about dark ring around penis

Q: I have a question/problem for you my penis has a dark ring around it. What is it? Should I see a doctor?

A: This is probably the normal circumcision scar which all circumcised men will have. It is the dividing line between the end of the (removed) foreskin skin and the rest of the penis skin. Depending on how much foreskin was removed during your circumcision, the ring may be higher or lower up the penis shaft. See the anatomy page of The-Penis.com for more information.


Is it normal to have a loose scrotum and one testicle bigger than the other?

Q: Sometimes, my scrotum gets expanded lengthwise and becomes loose. One testicle is lower than the other. Is this normal? The scrotum becomes soft. Has anyone ever come to you with this problem? What can I do to stop it?

A: Both these things are completely normal. The scrotum expands and becomes loose when it is hotter than is comfortable for the testicles (they need a lower temperature than the rest of the body, which is why they hang outside in the first place). Obviously, if they get too cold, the scrotum tightens up against the body. One testicle is nearly always bigger and lower than the other.


Has my penis finished growing yet?

Q: At what age does a penis stop growing ?

A: By 17, but often much sooner. It will depend on how soon puberty starts, and how rapidly it progresses, although this will be different for everyone. You can get information on the average size of an erect penis with age on the size page of this website.


I'm 14 years old - is masturbation harmful?

Q: I am 14 years old, and I masturbate at least once a day. Are there any bad results of masturbating this often at my age? Will there be any long term effects or any problems later on? Sometimes after masturbation and after I ejaculate, my lower stomach/bladder area feels a little uncomfortable for a while. Why is this?

A: All this is completely normal, including the slight discomfort. The average number of times boys of your age masturbate is between once a day and once every two days - so don't worry about that! It really is completely normal. And it has absolutely no effects on your sex life or physical development. I guess you know that anyway but just want to be reassured. The only thing it might do is make you develop a habit of reaching orgasm quickly, especially if you adopt a rushed approach to masturbation. Take your time from time to time, so that you learn more about your body. With a partner in later life, you will want to go slower than you do at the moment because making love is a longer, more intimate process, and is more rewarding if it lasts longer. Masturbation, though normal and satisfying, is a more personal form of sex, and can be quick because you have no-one to please but yourself. Read Jackin'World for much more reassuring stuff on masturbation. The discomfort is from the sharp contraction of your muscles during orgasm, which is when they work very hard. As long as the discomfort fades away there is no problem.


15 years old and worried about masturbation

Q: I'm a 15 yr old boy, and I masturbate regularly, but I recently stopped, because I heard some rumors. They are that masturbation can lead to a smaller penis, and masturbating can affect my sexual performance later in life. Can you tell me if this is true? If you answer no to these questions would you advise me to keep on masturbating, or should I try to stop?

A: Listen up now, you need to hear this: Masturbating does not lead to any changes in your body - that's right, not to a smaller penis, not to blindness, not to hairy hands (have you heard that rumor? isn't it amazing?), not to weakness, not to anything (except maybe a sore penis if you do it 3 times a day). OK, seriously, masturbating is probably good for you, and it certainly isn't bad! The average frequency of boys doing it at your age is between once a day and once every two days, but many do it more often, many do it less. By the way, all the experts say that masturbating as a teenager can help your later sex life - you know more about your body, how it works, what you can do to get aroused and how to control orgasm. And of course, you can't "run out" of semen: it just goes on and on. Have a look at Jackin'World, especially their questions and answers, then you can really see, once and for all, how normal, natural, healthy and enjoyable this aspect of being a man actually is. Don't listen to rumors spread by the ignorant.


How normal is teenage masturbation to nude pictures of girls?

Q: Is it normal for me to want to masturbate? I want to masturbate really bad, and want to masturbate to masturbate to some pictures of nude girls, is that bad?

A: No, this is all normal. Many teenage boys (maybe the majority) go through a phase where they like to masturbate to sexy pictures, in the absence of a partner. You will never have more male hormone in your body than you do now - amazing isn't it? That is what makes you so sexually active, and yes, it can seem like a challenge, feeling so sexual all the time. But it is quite normal - there is nothing at all "wrong" with you - this is part of the experience of growing up. As for wanting pictures, well, that is also quite normal!! Most boys go through a phase of using sexual material for masturbation, and the desire to want to look at sexual pictures is normal and natural. Some people think pornography is bad, especially where it depicts people in hurtful or damaging ways, or where they have been forced into it against their free choice, but that is a separate issue. I think it is very important that you enjoy your developing sexuality and the pleasure your body can give you, and not feel ashamed of it or the urges you have...remember, this is part of what makes you a man.


Am I normal at 14 with no ejaculations? Also, I'm feeling attracted to my (male) friend?

Q: I am 14 years old, and have just started puberty, I cannot cum yet, but I have pubic hairs.....is that ok and normal? Second, my friend comes over every once in a while, and when my parents go to bed, we give each other head and lie naked with each other, and it is the best feeling ever, but I like girls. I don't like him sexually for real, but I enjoy him giving me head, and I just do it in return. My biggest fantasy is having sex with a woman and never stopping. Seeing pictures of women gets me extremely aroused. Do you think I am gay, bi, or straight? Like I said, my ultimate goal is to have sex with a girl, but I love having sex with my male friend also. What's your opinion?

A: My opinion is that absolutely everything in your message is normal and OK for you. Yes - at 14 you are on track with normal physical development. And as for your sex with your friend - well, many boys enjoy sexual play together, and I think it has no bearing on future sexual orientation. Many men who are homosexual will tell you that they knew deep down from a very early age that they were gay (or at least "different"). You will find loads of useful stuff at Jackinworld about development and sexual play in teenage boys - I strongly recommend you go and have a look. You will see how very common all these things are. Good luck, carry on enjoying life, your body and your developing sexuality.


Unusual method of masturbation

Q: The following is how I masturbate: I lay flat on my back in my bed and I take my right hand and with my thumb and forefinger (sometimes middle finger) I twist my penis. My left hand goes under my sac. At the same time I press my sac with some pressure and I twist the head of my penis. Eventually I ejaculate. Is this safe? I am also currently having problems. It seems that whenever I move whether it be sitting down or laying down this sexual feeling generates out of nowhere. It happens by itself. It's the same kind of feeling I get when I'm about to ejaculate but to a lesser degree. There's no pain involved. Perhaps by masturbating the wrong way I somehow hurt my internal organs. I'm hoping you could shed some light on this as I am desperately looking for answers. Thank you.

A: That way of masturbating does not sound like a good idea. It sounds like there might be a risk of damaging your penis, and that would be a nightmare for you for ever! As to the other question - well, I think that you might just be experiencing the normal sexual arousal that goes with the teenage years. When your hormone levels are so high, you are bound to feel sexually excited and stimulated a lot of the time, often for no apparent reason. The other possibility is that you might be stimulating your prostate gland in some way - it is a gland deeply involved with sexual feelings and orgasm. If I were you, I would have a word with my doctor just to check that everything is OK.


14 years old and not developing pubic hair

Q: Hi, I am 14 and I want to know if my penis is the same length as other boys'. I have no pubic hair, at what age does it normally develop?

A: I think you need to consider asking your Dad, grandfather, uncle, school counselor or teacher to help. Alternatively go and see your doctor, if you feel able. If you can talk to your mom, that is another possibility. But hope there is an adult male in your life who you trust and can talk to about this? You don't have to tell them exactly what the problem is, just say you think you might be developing slower than other boys, and you would like to see a doctor about it. I am sure they will help. I would say if you haven't started developing hair by the time you are 15 you might want to have a word with your doctor to see if your puberty needs a jump start (they can give you hormones that start it off). You could just be a late developer, which is inconvenient, but in the long run not a problem. However, if there is a deeper cause, you need to get it sorted out. Can you talk to your dad/granddad/uncle/teacher/school counselor? I think you need a bit of support on this. If nothing else, I can imagine that going through the showers after sports at school is worrying you, if you are behind everyone else in physical development. Some doctors will be helpful in allowing you to avoid sports "for medical reasons" and this may relive your anxiety about being seen by boys who are more developed.


Unusual semen at 13 years old

Q: I am 13 and my semen is weird, it's like see-through white. Is it going to change or are there different types of semen?

A: It will take a while for things to settle down. Semen starts off colorless, a thin, sticky, clear fluid, then gradually becomes more milky as you get older. But even in an adult, it is often not mixed very well, and you get clear liquid with milky bits in it. Also, you may find sometimes that there are jelly-like bits in it, or that it has a greenish or yellowish tinge. All of this may seem weird, but I assure you it's quite normal! You can stop worrying!


Aroused and unfulfilled - "blue balls"?

Q: The past few weeks I have been seeing a girl who seems to get me aroused every time I see her. We have played around in bed together and have rolled around the sheets together, me with a hard on and she extremely turned on. Because she is not quite ready to go all the way, I have been finding myself getting super hard erections then cooling off all night long. My testicles seem to be bearing the brunt of this erection then non-ejaculation, and I am in pain most of the next day. What is going on? I am 20 years old and very healthy. Should I be concerned? Is this what some people term "blue balls"?

A: Yes, that is indeed what people call blue balls. I think the answer to your problem is either to ask her to masturbate you to orgasm, or do it yourself (ask her if she minds, first, though), and you could also just explain that she turns you on so much - she will be flattered by that, believe me - that you are left uncomfortable if you don't get off. Alternatively, go discreetly to the bathroom and relieve yourself- it shouldn't take long if you are so turned on. But in any event, an orgasm is clearly what you need. By the way, could you ask her if she would like to get some pleasure as well? Suggestions for you to put to her might include that she could in herself off with her hands while you hold her, curled up alongside her (she might like that) or that you bring her off - "heavy petting" - i.e. fondling her to orgasm (you could tell her it would make YOU very happy to do this for HER). Or you could have a session of frottage: have her lie on her back with you on top of her, supporting your weight so she isn't squashed, and kiss her - you can even do this fully clothed, although you might have a laundry bill afterwards! - as things hot up, you may find that you both begin to naturally rub your penis and vulva together, and perhaps simulate the movements of sexual intercourse. If she responds, you can go on till she comes, and you will probably follow soon after. Any of these might be a very nice substitute for full blown intercourse if she isn't ready for it.


Burning sensation in urethra

Q: Hi, I am a 16 year old male, and I have a problem that has been bugging me for about two years now. Well, here goes. Throughout the day, I sometimes feel a burning sensation in my urethra, and there is sometimes some clear fluid there. I also have a slight burning sensation when I urinate. Sometimes after a bowel movement I get these fierce spasms in my lower back and rectum that last for about 3 minutes. Worst of all though is that during ejaculation, I feel that slight burning as well as a weird pressure in my groin. Afterwards I get what feels like a muscle ache all through my groin (buttocks, testes, lower abdomen, penis). I have no idea what is causing this. I recently was tested for a urinary tract/bladder infection, but there is none. I am very active, so is this related to sports? I really need your advice.

A: I wonder if you have prostatitis. Try www.prostatitis.org and see if the symptoms sound familiar.


Will I run out of semen?

Q: How much semen is in the male body? Do men run out of it if they masturbate a lot?

A: You don't run out of saliva (spit), do you? You will never run out of semen, either.


Too many erections!

Q: I'm 19 years old and I am a virgin. I have a problem with erections. I get erections very easily and sometimes for no reason. When I'm with a girl and say we kiss, I get an erection. Is this normal, or is there something I can do to keep it down until I need it up?

A: I was not surprised to read this...I get so many emails from horny teenagers who just wish they could stop their spontaneous erections which pop up all over the place all the time! However, what you describe is so normal as to be completely unremarkable. You have more testosterone now than you ever will have again, and in 20 or 30 years you may look back enviously on those spontaneous erections as proof of your virility and masculinity. In short, therefore, you have to just accept that this is your body's natural response to sexual stimulation!

Of course many boys are embarrassed about getting hard when they are not in a sexual situation because of what their girlfriends might think. This is a difficult one. I guess many teenage girls would be surprised to learn that a boy gets erections all the time, even from something as simple as hugging or dancing close. And it can be embarrassing. On the other hand, if you're in a relationship, then it can be quite flattering for the girl to know that you find her so sexy and exciting. But spontaneous erections are one of the perennial difficulties of being a teenage boy!


Feeling attracted to boys

Q: This is really weird for me to be writing. I always fantasize about the same male when I masturbate - he happens to be my best friend's younger brother. (We're both 18.) I try to think about females, but by the time I'm finished it's always thinking about sucking his penis that gets me off. I guess it all started about 2 years ago - I was wrestling with this lad, and all I wanted to do was hold him tight. I spent a lot of time at my best friend's house that summer, and it seemed like every day I would end up wrestling his brother - and getting an erection every time. It's been about a year since the last time I wrestled with him - but over the year that we were wrestling regularly we had some weird experiences. Just about every time we saw each other, he would get down on his knees, pretend to be sucking my penis, then I would do the same - only I really wanted to be sucking it (did he?). One time we were on my bed, and I started to get really hot. I was holding him tightly from behind, and as I spread my legs further I couldn't resist rubbing my penis up and down his butt slowly and I eventually came (in my pants - I don't think he knew). Another time we were in the garden and we just laid there for about an hour on top of one another - at one point I even moved towards him to see if he wanted to kiss me, but he gave no reaction (he could've been waiting for me to follow through). The last one I'll tell you about happened in a parking lot - this was his idea. It started with us pretending like we were making out in my car, but nobody saw us. Overall we probably spent about half an hour faking it in that parking lot. 

Now for my questions. Whenever I don't have an erection, it's girls that I'm thinking about. I'll think about holding them close, having sex, etc. Once I get the erection though, my thoughts turn straight toward this lad. What does this mean? Also, I saw statistics on your website that a lot of people have masturbated in the company of other males. This has been another one of my fantasies, but how would I go about bringing that up with him - without it seeming like I'm gay? Your website also mentioned that a large number of men experiment with other men. If I wanted to have a complete sexual experience with him, how could I possibly get him to go along with it? Please give me any diagnosis, advice, tips and tricks that you can come up with. Sorry I had to make this so long - but it felt so good finally telling somebody. Please help me!

A: Well, the first thing is that nothing that you describe is particularly unusual! If you haven't read www.jackinworld.com I suggest you do, because it has so much great information about male-male sex/fantasies and what it all means. (By the way, male-male fantasies don't necessarily mean you're gay, if that is what is worrying you, although of course if you were gay then you would be thinking about men! Confusing, isn't it?) You do need to be careful, though. My view is that sexual activity between any two people who care for each other and are not using each other and are doing it with mutual consent and respect is fine. But of course life presents us with many situations where we fancy someone and they just don't feel the same way: which is doubly difficult if the situation is between two inexperienced guys trying to establish their sexuality. Playing around like this is one of the ways in which our sexual identity is formed, of course, and it does allow those who are in doubt about their sexual orientation to be more sure about what they want. Then again, for teenage boys, sexual play is often no big deal - it can be fun, it may not mean much, and provides a sexual outlet when girls are not around.

You could sound him out by asking things like "Have you ever thought about...." "You know what a guy said to me the other day.......what do you think about that?" "What would you do if.....someone said/did/asked about...." These sort of questions will give you an idea of his reaction, so you can decide what to do next (pursue or drop it) but even so he may have a big gap between his perception of what is going on, and yours....a situation which can lead to a lot of problems, if you propose something that he doesn't like or want - especially if he later spreads the word, a thing that can easily happen even if he does want it but isn't ready for it because of issues of shame or guilt or embarrassment. Getting what you want sexually can be tricky, and there is no easy answer. But you can get an idea of other guys experiences from www.jackinworld.com 

Good luck, I hope you get what you want. But remember to respect yourself, don't do anything you are doubtful about, and don't push others who may not be ready to share your desires!


How do I masturbate?

Q: Hi. I do not know how to masturbate. Please help me. What does cumming feel like, and how do I know it is going to happen to me? I have another question, are you supposed to force it out with your hands? Or does it just come out by pushing like you're going to pee? Please clarify exactly what is supposed to occur.

A: When you stimulate your penis through stroking it or by rubbing it or by forming a circle between your first finger and thumb, and running that up and down over the head of the penis (see www.jackinworld.com for more techniques), and you continue to so this for long enough, your body will gradually get nearer and nearer to orgasm. The first time, it may take a while, which depends on how sexually excited you are, maybe 10 minutes, maybe as long as half an hour, so make sure you don't make your penis sore. As your body nears orgasm, you will feel more and more excited - this is hard to describe, but you will know it when it begins to happen. It is a response which involves more sexy thoughts, a sense of urgency and desire to ejaculate (although of course the first time you do it, you won't know what it is, if you see what I mean.....but you will of course be able to make the connection with what is happening in your body and what you are doing, so don't be frightened of it...the whole process is completely natural and ought to feel good).

You may find you want to thrust your hips, a movement associated with making love, when the man moves his penis in and out of the woman's vagina - at the early stages of sex, he does the in and out thrusting himself, but there is a point in his sexual arousal where his instinct takes over, and it becomes almost automatic - this same response may happen in masturbation. You may find you want to move your body and tighten various muscles and arch your back, or stretch out your legs, or you may not....it is very different between different men, and also different for each man each time he does it.....sometimes it is very quick and simple, sometimes leisurely and relaxed, sometimes very urgent and intense....as you will soon find out for yourself, I have no doubt.

Whatever the response in your body and mind, just go with it, allow it to happen, and enjoy it. As you near your orgasm, you will probably find yourself masturbating faster and harder, and feeling a build up of what feels like muscular tension in your body, especially your groin. You will feel like the tension has to get released, and that release will come suddenly with very enjoyable but perhaps very powerful muscular contractions deep inside you, which expel the semen or sperm in a series of short bursts - sometimes just one or two, sometimes more (as many as nine). Each time you feel the ejaculation of liquid you will also feel deeply pleasurable emotions and physical sensations in your mind and body, probably with very sexy thoughts. If you lack sexual experience, these thoughts may be quite odd - teenagers often report sexy thoughts about doing things with their friends or even their family members: don't worry about that, it is quite normal, and does no harm as long as it stays in your mind!

The semen may be expelled a long distance or just dribble out of the end of your penis, but it is the contractions of your testicles, penis and internal muscles which expel it, not anything you do. You will probably find that your testicles are drawn up against your body when you ejaculate (also called "cumming" or "coming"), and your penis may go soft straight away or remain hard for a while.

Although you may not realize it, nearly all men masturbate, including the ones who say they don't!


Spots on my penis

Q: Hi, I am 17 and my penis has spots on they have been there for about 4 years now but I am too shy to go to the doctor, so what can I do and what are they?

A: Very likely they are Fordyce spots, little white spots that form on the skin of the penis or on a woman's labia. You can read more about them here Penis Myths . But if you are in any doubt about the health of your penis, especially if you have had sex with a partner whose history you are unsure of, you should see a doctor as soon as possible.


I can't ejaculate!

Q: I am a 15 year old male, and I am having problems with ejaculation. I have full erections when I am excited but I can't seem to ejaculate semen. Is this blue balls? Or a problem with my technique? I do have "wet dreams" though, so I am confident I have semen, just not when I want it! I am concerned that this will cause problems in sexual activity, of any kind, in the near future...please help.

A: I think you may simply not be masturbating for long enough. This is not the first time I have heard from a guy with this problem. There is obviously nothing wrong with your system since you have wet dreams, so don't worry about that. Try relaxing, and using some lubrication (baby oil, skin cream) and just take your time. You will know when you are about to ejaculate (the first time it happens you may think you are going to pee). Also do it when you are not going to be disturbed and you have some privacy. Make it a special occasion and enjoy it. Read more at www.jackinworld.com.


Penis size at 16 years old

Q: OK, I'm 16 years old. First of all, my penis is about 6 inches in length. I was wondering if this was normal, plus what age does it get the largest at? Will I still grow larger? I usually masturbate 5 times a week or so. Because I cum there is little hormone in my body. And hormones make your penis grow, so is it bad to masturbate? One last thing, what size penis do you have to have to fit into a small, medium, large, and extra large condom?

A: Your penis is normal size. I guess your penis is already as big as it is going to get, but sometimes they carry on growing until a boy is 17. You are mistaken that masturbating causes low hormone levels in your body. In fact you are masturbating 5 times a week because you have so much hormone in your body. Masturbating does not have any bad effects, though some people feel it can be a bad thing if you get obsessed by it, so that it takes over your life. You will fit an average condom quite well.


Girlfriend damaged my penis!

Q: My penis used to stick straight up in the air against my body. My girlfriend pulled very hard on it downwards and I felt something tear or rip. Now when erect it's not as strong or upright or hard. Could that have done something harmful?

A: Get rid of a girlfriend who treats your penis with such disrespect (unless it was an accident, but even if it was she should have more respect, so you might want to think about that - I assume you would not treat her vagina so roughly?) The "accident" with your girlfriend you describe may have affected the ligament that attaches your penis to your body - if so, this will heal in time. You might want to get it checked by a doctor, just to be sure there is no long term damage.


Sex with a woman I don't love didn't work!

Q: I'm 18, one girl has successfully made me ejaculate numerous times (she was my long term girlfriend). I'm considered attractive by some of the hottest girls in my school, and my penis is average at about 5 and a half inches erect. In my senior year, one of these hot girls whom I didn't know that well wanted to get it on with me. But when I ended up getting with her and initiating foreplay, I couldn't get aroused. I got her naked and performed oral sex on her. When it was time for her to return the favor, my penis was not erect at all. It was embarrassing and I don't know how to explain it to her or how to react. What is wrong with me? I thought these kind of girls only existed in my dreams. Any diagnosis or suggestions are appreciated.

A: You don't surprise me at all. Everyone thinks a man is a sex machine, but they forget he wants emotional connection as well. Stick to girls for whom you feel something in the head, not just in your body! That way you'll be fine. You can't change the kind of guy you are - and you are one who wants love or affection, not rampant sex. Keep that for your fantasy! And, by the way, there isn't anything wrong with you, except you made a mistake, and learnt something from it!


Feeling attracted to guys, unsure of my size, and troubled by erections in the showers!

Q: I'm 14 and I have a few questions. 1. When I masturbate, sometimes I think about other guys' penises and masturbating them. My friends and I frequently have "shoot the wad" contests and measure our size regularly. My friends and I find pleasure in giving each other hand jobs. We still talk about girls and fantasize about them. Am I gay or bi? 2. I'm embarassed when I take showers after gym 'cause being naked causes me to get a boner. I can't control when I get a boner and it's embarrassing. I don't think I'm gay or bi even though I think about guys when I masturbate. 3. I'm worried about the size of my penis. I'm 14 and my penis is 5 and a half inches. Is this small, big or normal for my age? Will my penis grow bigger during high school? How big do you think it will get?

A: First you are doing exactly what many boys (not all, but then not all boys play football or go on summer camp!) do in their teenage years. If you read www.jackinworld.com, you will see that all this is normal, in the sense that it is common teenage boy behavior. It does not mean you are gay or bi. Jackinworld explains it all very well, but what I would say is that you are experimenting with your sexuality, finding out about your body, and learning how it compares with other boys'. Don't feel guilty about this! As for the erection in the showers problem, could you stop being embarrassed and just walk around as if it were the most natural thing in the world - which it is, of course, since half the world have a penis, and they all have erections! If you couldn't do that, perhaps because it would attract attention you didn't want, then maybe you could adapt your shower techniques so that you see as few guys naked as possible (or so that few of them see you).

By the way, I think the sentence "I don't think I'm gay or bi even though I think about guys when I masturbate" suggests your sexual orientation is heterosexual. I think if you were gay or bi you would feel it inside, and you don't. The problem is, that even for straight men, especially young men, who are full of sex hormones, the naked male body and the penis in particular, is a stimulating thing. You can't get away from that fact, and of course, just at the moment you are enjoying sexual experiences with other guys, and I can see an association between the naked showers and the sexual excitement you feel being around other guys when you are experimenting sexually. It all makes sense, but I'm not sure it has any bearing on your future sexuality.

As for your penis, it is normal size. Penises stop growing by about 17 years of age, though sometimes sooner. It all depends on the individual. So all in all, I think you are having the normal, exciting, challenging, troubling teenage boy experience!


Oh no, I can't ejaculate!

Q: I have a question that's a little embarrassing to ask. I am sixteen years old and in good health. I always have an erection in the morning and I've had wet dreams before. However, when I try to masturbate, nothing happens. I've already turned down relationships because I'm worried that when the time comes I won't be able to perform. I am starting to wonder whether it is my body or if it's psychological. Whenever I try I pretty much already know nothing will happen.

A: I have had this question from young and old men alike, but I think the cause of the problem is different in young and old! For you, I suspect the answer is simple: that you aren't masturbating hard enough or long enough to cause an orgasm (and yes, there may be a bit of fear holding you back as well). The fact that you have had wet dreams and morning erections means there is nothing wrong with your system. One guy told me he remembered being told how to masturbate by a guy in class at school. He tried what was suggested, then lost interest as nothing happened....and it was a long time before he tried again! So, be respectful and gentle with your penis, but try masturbating for longer, and perhaps with a bit more friction. You will find that you orgasm much more easily if you are excited before you even touch your penis. Then just go at it gently. You can probably benefit from reading www.jackinworld.com This is a beginning guide for would be masturbators - very tastefully done. Loads of information and techniques. Above all, don't worry.

In a nutshell, I would say your problem is that you need turning on - nothing to worry about, but obviously difficult if you're frightened of getting into a relationship because you think you won't perform (when getting into a relationship would probably be just what you need to turn you on). Don't forget women need a lot more sexual stimulation than men, so a girl would probably find your slow pace of sexual arousal a comforting, familiar and reassuring thing. You know, it could even be an advantage! If you're into guys, well, then you would need to explain your slower pace of sexual arousal, but it still shouldn't be a problem if your partner cares about you rather than just getting off with you. Anyways, read Jackinworld. I think you'll find the answers you need there, good luck.


Experimenting with another guy

Q: Hello! I have some questions I need to ask you! Well, I have a step brother...one day I came into his room and he picked me up and then he put me on the bed and then he started feeling me and I kinda enjoyed it, then we started feeling each other....but we didn't do any more than that. Secretly I have been doing the same thing with my other friends. But I have a female friend that I am attracted to and am very interested in, but then I am equally attracted to one of my male friends. Does this mean I am bi? Sometimes it feels like I am because I think I want a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and would not be satisfied with a girlfriend alone. I have done the same thing with girls as I did with my step brother. In a way I feel like he is the one who got me into doing this. What do you think?

A: I would say first of all that any sexual activity between an older and a younger boy, where the younger boy is forced or coerced or made to do it against his will, or even made to do it at all, is completely wrong. No-one has the right to make another person do something sexually they are not comfortable with. As to whether this first experience made you interested in guys, the answer is: well, possibly, but not very likely, I think. I am sure that prolonged sexual abuse by older males of younger boys is a destructive and very damaging experience that shatters the developing sexual identity of the young boy. But this is not the same as teenagers of equal status experimenting with each other. And again, so many guys have these feelings that they can be considered normal at your age.

Many people find that their sexual identity is not the same throughout life, that their feelings of attraction to men and women change as they get older. One of the ways that people find out what they like is by experimenting sexually, and that helps them to understand their feelings. So you will probably find that things become clearer for you as you get older.


Too excited with my girlfriend

Q: Anyway, my question...I have this new girlfriend and whenever we're together I get aroused very easily. This isn't too bad except it happens even when we're merely kissing. What can I do to calm down? And how can I make love without shooting my load too soon?

A: Not a lot. It's a teenage hormone thing.


Can't get an erection with my date

Q: I will have an erection for hours before a date but once I am alone with my date I can't seem to get an erection or maintain an erection.

A: Performance anxiety can affect a man in many ways, and this, sadly, is one of them. The best course is to put thoughts of sex aside, and do some cuddling and kissing while you build up your relationship, rather than going for sex so early on in a relationship. Sex is much better between two people who love or respect each other, so you may find the whole process of dating becomes much more rewarding if you hold back until you are sure that you really want to go to bed with someone.


Too sexy for my shoes

Q: Hi, I am 16 and have a problem. For about a year I have noticed that whenever I am in contact with a girl I like, even just hugging, I tend to get an erection, and sometimes there is some discharge. I always thought it was just hormones and I'd grow out of it. Problem is now I have a girlfriend and often kiss and cuddle in public. As you can imagine it is embarrassing to get an erection and I am really worried that her or someone else will notice. Luckily I wear baggy clothes so no-one has yet, but the problem leaves me uncomfortable and I need to do something about it. Please reply.

A: I think you have to readjust your thinking here. What you describe is absolutely normal in every way. Why does it bother you? Obviously it can be embarrassing, though I think when you are in a sexual relationship, it is often flattering for a woman to know she is desirable. (The downside of course is that she may think you see her as just a sex object, but this is not necessarily true - this kind of thing is part of being male). Can you take pride in the fact that you are so virile and masculine? By the way, I don't know if your girlfriend would be shocked to find that she causes such a (normal) reaction in you, but maybe you might find she would be flattered and pleased to find that you found her so exciting...perhaps you could hint at this to her, gently, of course.

Response from questioner: Hi again. I had to write back because I don't think you understand how bad the problem is. When I say I get an erection, I mean that it gets really hard and stays hard for ages, so much that it gets uncomfortable, I don't know what to do, and it is a real problem. Surely this can't be normal? Sometimes the erection lasts so long it starts to become painful. I really don't know what else to say but I am being driven insane.

A: I do know how embarrassing this can be. But it is normal in teenagers, and I do get a lot of letters asking exactly this question - how can I stop spontaneous erections? You have more hormones in your body than you ever will again, and they are doing their thing. I suspect that if you could get into a sexual relationship, things would improve dramatically, as the sexual tension and expectation would be discharged. But please don't go for sex unless you and your partner are ready for it. Too early is a bad mistake, and spoils things for everyone. So, instead, although this may sound a bit banal, I would suggest you masturbate twice a day. I have to admit I am not sure if this will help, but you may find it does. And of course it is very pleasurable. If you are already doing that, then I haven't really any practical help to offer - I guess you are one of those highly sexed men, who have to adapt their life in various ways to cope with their randiness.

I think it is true that for highly sexed men, the sex drive can sometimes be a challenge as well as a sign of virility. Indeed, I can see how men would want to be free of their constant sexual drive. But the grass is always greener on the other side - there are an equal number of men who would dearly love to have a high sex drive! Obviously it will be easier for you when you are more free to make love on a regular basis with a regular partner. Do you take any exercise? If you got into a regular exercise program, this might help - again, it sounds a bit banal, but it may reduce your sexual energy. I hope this is helpful, and if not, at least provides some comfort.


My penis hurts after masturbation

Q: I am 14 years old and I have a problem, as you may have guessed. Here's the deal, my penis always hurts after I masturbate, my glans stings... why does it hurt? Oh yeah, here's some background information, I've been masturbating since I was about 10 years old. From the ages of 10-12 I masturbated probably 3-5 times a day! Then when I was about 13, I decided I would take a break from masturbating, so I did. Now I have started masturbating every night (only once though). I also have problems pissing after I masturbate, it just doesn't come out straight. But yeah, why does my penis hurt so much after I masturbate?

A: Is your penis one of those with the pee hole located on the underside of the glans? This is sometimes associated with a very sensitive glans - if you do have a penis that's different from most, go here to read about it. Are you circumcised? if so, would a bit of lubrication (baby oil, moisturizing cream, etc) make masturbation easier ? Are you just being too rough? See www.jackinworld.com for a whole range of alternative techniques for getting pleasure from your body. Though there is nothing abnormal about once a day at age 14, how about cutting down to once every two days to give your tender glans time to recover between sessions? You may just be very sensitive in that area - some men are so tender after they have their orgasm that they can't bear to be touched on the glans, it is just too tender. This may actually be your only difficulty - in which case, you will have to learn to live with it.

I wondered how you had problems pissing after masturbating, and why your pee doesn't come out straight....this did make me wonder if you had a penis with a pee hole that was underneath the penis rather than at the tip. Even if you do have a penis like this, I don't think it will have anything directly to do with your sensitive tissues. Can you speak to your dad or another male about this? If that seems too embarrassing, just remember that all men, Dad included, have a penis, and use it in exactly the way you do!


My penis is too hard and too small

Q: I'm 14 and am always getting boners. What can I do to stop that? And what can I do to make my penis larger?

A: You can't stop the erections, and they are perfectly normal at your age, even if inconvenient! The penis doesn't stop growing until about 17 so wait a while before you worry about size.


No, it is too small!

Q: I am 17, and my erect penis is about four and a half inches long. Please tell me how I can make it bigger.

A: What if you can't make it bigger? Can you come to terms with the fact that you are a man who is naturally less well-endowed than the majority? I agree that we have been led to think that a large penis is a sign of masculinity in this world, but ask a woman whether she thinks masculinity and maleness are located in the penis or in the brain. Then ask her if she falls in love with a penis or with a whole man? You see what I'm getting at? That penis size is really a male issue, much more than a female issue. You are a man because of many things - having a penis is only one of them, and having a penis that is smaller than average does not make you less of a man. You can read more on this very website.


It's my first time!

Q: I'm 18 and faced with having sex for the first time with my girlfriend. I have no idea what to do! HELP!

A: Well, first of all don't panic. When you are aroused you will find it all comes more naturally than you would ever have imagined. (I mean the physical side of it.) The key, though, is to communicate with your girl. Tell her it's your first time - talk about it. Is it her first time too? If not, then you are lucky, because she can help you (e.g. you could say "I'm not quite sure how it works, but we could have fun finding out if you show me what to do!") There's no point pretending you are an experienced lover if you aren't! However, assuming that you are both first timers, then you must talk about it, and there is some responsibility on you to look after her.

So, to get you started, here is a good web address to read, preferably together. But although aimed at women, you can get a lot from it as well. Scarleteen. And we have advice on first time sex. When you get intimate, I think that it is so helpful to feel comfortable together. An hour or two spent on the sofa, cuddling and kissing sensitively, with a bit of non-sexual caressing and fondling, in other words gently touching each other in a loving way (a gentle back massage is very popular!), will help to release your inhibitions and reduce embarrassment about getting closer sexually. During this period of gentle affection, maybe you could gently caress her more intimate areas - through her clothing - but as you work towards greater intimacy be sure to respect any signs she gives that she is uncomfortable with what you are doing AND STOP if she is. Of course you will both become aroused during this sort of contact, and that may give you an opportunity to move things forward.

I say "may" because even though she may be aroused, sex for women has different implications than it does for men, and arousal alone may not be enough for a woman to want intercourse - she must feel safe and secure as well. You could tell her you find it so exciting being with a beautiful woman that you would like more intimate contact, but that you will respect what she wants. Her response, both verbally and physically, will show you if she wants more intimate contact. If she does, you don't have to find your way alone! Simply ask her what she would like you to do - but do it gently and sensitively, in a loving way. Make sure she feels respected at all times, because what she is potentially giving you is the most precious thing she has: think about the significance of intercourse for a woman - it is literally an acceptance of you into her body - a gift not to be taken lightly by the man. On the first time, there is often a lot of pressure to go the whole way, but I think it is much better to work towards full sexual intercourse through mutual masturbation ("heavy petting" - what a glorious, old fashioned term!). She can bring you off by hand, or even by mouth, although if she is willing but shy, you may have to ask her (think about how you would ask her in a way that is respectful of her).

You can give her pleasure by hand or mouth - giving oral sex to a woman is a very, very exciting experience for most men, because the scent and taste of such close sexual contact with a woman are very arousing indeed. I suggest you do some research beforehand to find out a bit about female anatomy and what women think about sex. You could try looking in particular at The-clitoris.com A bit of research beforehand will make you feel much more confident when you get down to it (err, no pun intended!). Now, if you can restrain yourself, and concentrate instead on her pleasure, you may find she is more confident and responsive, and that you feel more in control and less pressured to perform (which will be good because such pressure to perform may make you orgasm too quickly - or, less commonly, have difficulty achieving orgasm at all).

Assuming you are naked and intimate, you could concentrate on her pleasure by giving her an erotic massage. By now, you should be her hero, and she will be thinking of you as a great guy (I hope), but of course there is still the hurdle of the first intercourse to get over. You need to be naked, intimate, and aroused. Do not try penile penetration until she is ready - ask her to tell you when she would like you to enter her. There is no shame in this - make it clear it is your first time, and that you would like to be sensitive to her feelings. If she is expecting you to know everything, and do all the work, and judge when she is ready to for penetration, then she is expecting too much.

Read the links on this page of The Penis Website to give you more information about all of this. When you get ready to enter her, ask her to guide you (i.e. your penis) into her vagina. The missionary position is easiest for the first time. See this website: best sex positions for more information. You will find that moving your hips to produce the motion of your penis in and out of her vagina is quite instinctive and natural, and it will be highly enjoyable and most likely so exciting and arousing that you may well come straight away - this is quite normal, and not something to worry about - after all, you will get better as you get more experience. I think it is very unlikely she is going to have an orgasm through intercourse the first time you try, however long YOU last before you ejaculate, so it is crucial that you do not leave her unsatisfied (i.e. without her having had an orgasm): so either wait until you are erect again, giving her gentle touch and caresses all the while, or if you prefer, bring her off by hand - ask her how she likes to be touched if necessary. Again, oral sex (if she is happy with the idea) is a good way to help a woman have an orgasm, and most women really feel great when a man does it to them. And, if you can, stay with her through the night and cuddle her so she feels special; in any case, stay with her after you've made love.

And don't forget to USE A CONDOM IF SHE ISN'T ON THE PILL OR IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF EACH OTHER'S SEXUAL HISTORY. All in all, the happiness of the experience is mostly down to you being relaxed and happy with each other. Most likely the first time will be only moderately successful, but you need to expect that - don't look for the earth to move - that will come later! What is most important is that you like being together and feel happy about the experience.

My final word is one of caution - don't go the whole way unless both of you really want to. Above all, don't do it because you feel pressured to do it. Enjoy yourself, and enjoy the sense of pride in your masculinity that will inevitably follow your first time. You will see how good it is to be a man !


What is this slippery stuff?

Q: I'm worried 'cause when I'm kissing, my penis will have a drop or two of wetness. I'm not sure what it is. Please reply.

A: This is natural lubricating fluid which all men produce and is very normal. It is designed to make the urethra safe for sperm by neutralizing any urine in the penis when you ejaculate, and it also lubricates the movement of the foreskin (if you have one) over the head of your penis. It is called "pre-cum" and it can contain sperm, so be careful not to get it near a girl's vagina unless she is on the pill.


Circumcised or not - is it normal?

Q: Hello, I am a 13 year old male and I have 2 questions for you. 1. Are more males circumcised or not circumcised? I am not circumcised and I have been made fun of because of it. However I read somewhere that globally 80% of men are not circumcised. I was wondering what figures you had globally and just for the US? 2. Is masturbating on average once a day too much for a 13 year old male? Is there such thing as running out of sperm? Or do the male balls keep reproducing sperm so that it is unlimited? Please get back to me on this. All your help is greatly appreciated!

A: Globally 90 % of men are NOT circumcised. In the US nowadays only 40 % of baby boys are circumcised and the figure continues to fall. The foreskin is full of nerve endings which enhance sexual pleasure for the man, and women describe sex with an uncircumcised man as completely different and often more pleasurable due to the way the penis moves in the foreskin while it is in the vagina. Perhaps the boys who made fun of you were just envious of your complete penis?

You cannot run out of sperm, just like you can't run out of saliva, so don't worry...and you need only be concerned about masturbation if it is becoming an obsession or you make your penis sore. The average number of times a boy of your age will masturbate is between once a day and once every two days.


Am I gay?

Q: I am 18. I'm sure you receive lots of emails that are similar, but I think this is a little different. My problem is is that I have a lot of gay tendencies, but I don't want to be gay. I have always wanted a family: a wife and children. I started masturbating at 11. A friend showed me. We eventually started masturbating each other and giving blowjobs. I was giving more than receiving. My older brother is gay and I found one of his magazines when I was 12 or 13. I really liked the pictures of the men. A year later, my friend, whom I never did anything with, gave me some pictures of women from Penthouse. I really liked these, too. I used them for about a year, until my dad found them. Now, with the internet, I look at a lot of stuff. I look at guys and sometimes masturbate, but sometimes I don't even get hard. I really like pictures of men and women having sex. I like lesbian pictures, but only if they're intense. As I said above, I don't want to be gay, and I even like this girl - a lot. I think about her, but I never had a fantasy about her; I don't think of her as a sex object, at least not now. I have never had a girlfriend. I think this may be a subconscious thing telling me I'm gay. Hopefully I'm just shy. I don't want to date just anyone; I've really only liked 2 or 3 girls enough to want to go out with them. I also had the idea of marrying them. Anyway, I want to know if I should follow my penis and be gay or follow my heart and have a family. 

A: Why do you think the two paths have to be separate? Many men combine the two, one way or another. You're only 18 anyway, and things will certainly change as you go through life anyway. Our sexuality isn't fixed at birth. But to give you an answer for now, I would say, at 18 you would be best following whatever path will give you most pleasure, happiness and fulfillment right now!


I just can't accept that I am gay!

Q: Hi, I am 18 years old and live in Australia. I think I am gay, I am almost positive I am gay. However every time I wank I regret it being over a guy, but just lately have learnt to accept it better. I do not want to be gay, and will not accept myself as gay. I am trying so much lately, such as not wanking over guys, instead trying to wank over girl porno videos. As well as staying away from phone sex (which because I refuse to meet anyone, is the only way I get off). I am still a virgin. I would never forgive myself if I slept with a guy. I know you get a lot of emails from guys saying that, however I will not accept myself. I am 18 and have very good looks, I will never sleep with a guy. I want a wife and I want a family and kids. I have told a few people on gay channels that, and they just laugh and say it is a hormonal thing or it's in my genes. Is this true? Is it impossible for me to change my sexuality, and if it's not what are some techniques I can use? I don't have any feelings for guys. I mean I wouldn't want to be with one for the rest of my life, I would rather be with a girl. And at the moment there is this girl, I love with all my heart, however I cannot get an erection thinking about girls. I would want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. As I said, I will never accept myself as a homosexual, and even more live with or even sleep with them.

A: Why are you so down on gayness? Because you think it morally wrong? The view that it is morally wrong is a cultural or religious one. You can come to a different conclusion for yourself. Because you are disgusted by it? Well, any sex between two people that is driven by lust without care for each other lacks something. This is no different for gay or straight people. If the act of anal sex is unpleasant in your view, well, then I think you are one of many people, both gay and straight, who would say that. But with care, in a loving setting, a very large number of gay and straight couples enjoy it very much. And many gay couples enjoy the sensitivity of touch and caressing or mutual masturbation without going any further. If you put into context the giving and receiving of pleasure within a worthwhile respectful relationship, then you have a model for many of the gay couples I have met.

Or do you just feel repelled by sex itself, a view heightened if both participants are men? This is not as uncommon as you may think, and it isn't always because of some trauma. Many people have to learn to like sex. Even if you are mostly gay now, your views may change as you get older. You may find that you become more attracted to women. This will be especially true if your attraction to men now is based on negative feelings towards women (e.g. you fear or hate them) - as you mature, you may find that such powerful emotions diminish, and you can get closer to women. However, if you have a strong gay orientation, you will have to deal with thoughts and desires for men - especially in your fantasy life.

I know you don't want to be gay, but let me ask you this: can you separate fantasy from reality? What you fantasize about is in your head - and it can stay there, and no-one needs to know about it. It does not have to be acted on, and it need not cause shame unless you choose to let it. I think that perhaps masturbatory fantasy serves as a useful way of discharging the sexual tension that you cannot act out in real life. In any case, I am sure that forcing yourself to masturbate over female porn is not going to have the slightest effect on changing your sexual orientation. That may well evolve to something else as time passes, but it won't change by behavioral modification. While on the subject of women, you may find that if you get emotionally close to a woman, you begin to feel sexually attracted to her - sex is sometimes based in the heart rather than the penis! But if you really are gay, what then? Well, you deny a part of your own existence by not accepting yourself. What do you mean when you say "I will not accept myself as gay"? Do you mean that you will torment yourself with guilt and shame rather than work towards a better level of self acceptance? I know this is hard for you, but I know other things too: I know that being gay does not diminish a person's worth; that a loving relationship based on emotional connection is just as possible for two men as two women or a man and a woman; and that you can love women and have children with them even if you are not sexual with them. (Why? Well, do you know how many women don't like or really want sex? No, neither do I, but I know it is a lot. But they do want to be loved and cared for - just as we all do.)

Have you considered telling your female friend that you think you are gay? She will most likely be very supportive - but be sure you trust her not to tell anyone else! Sometimes a good piece of gossip can easily spread around - and you need a friend you can trust right now, either male or female. You may even find that with increasing intimacy, you can try sleeping together. I think you are taking such a hard line, when there are so many stages between complete self-acceptance as gay and living with a woman as wife and husband. Maybe you could shift your thinking a bit, to accept the possibility that you might be gay, and if you are, well, it isn't a disaster, and that you can explore different options.

And if all the above is unhelpful, maybe you can find a support group which helps people decide if they are gay or not? But whatever you do, please be easier on yourself....being gay isn't the end of the world, a crime, a disaster, or a barrier to being happy and healthy.


My erect penis stands upright - help!

Q: My penis when erect goes right against my stomach and it is uncomfortable in my underwear. What should I do?

A: The upright stiff erect penis that you describe is very normal in a teenage boy. For some reason, I get lots of emails asking me what a boy can do to make it "right": but this is how the erect penis very often is, and you can't do anything about it, no matter how uncomfortable it may be in your underwear. If you can keep it bent down, that will stop the problem of it showing in your trousers, but it's a problem faced by almost all teenage boys, and one they solve for themselves. (Boxer shorts versus briefs, tight pants versus loose pants, penis bent over, penis free to stand up - that kind of thing). As men get older, the angle of their erection decreases, and approaches the horizontal, sticking more or less straight out in front when they are standing up. You can get more information about erection angles here, on this very website.


Am I circumcised?

Q: I am 14. How do I know if I am circumcised or not? What does a circumcised penis look like?

A: How would you recognize an uncircumcised penis (an uncut one)? Well, if you have a foreskin covering the shiny knob - the glans - at the end of your penis, you have not been circumcised. If by contrast your penis head is on view all the time, you are most likely circumcised. Have a look at some of the pictures on this very site.


Help, am I gay?

Q: When ever I ejaculate I think of men and them ejaculating and seeing their penises. Am I gay?

A: It's almost impossible to say if you are gay or not. Many boys have fantasies about other men or boys, and these pass away as they get mote experience with women. On the other hand, if at the age of 17 or 18 you are still turned on by men, fantasize about men, and are not interested in women, then you may well think of yourself as gay. But of course some men are happy to have sexual relationships with both men and women. In the end it is important to come to the conclusion about your sexuality for yourself, and to do what is right for you. It is also important to be sure that you do nothing that might hurt another person.


I just discovered smegma

Q: My penis has got a problem. Recently I found that my penis has become very dirty and smelly. When I pull down the skin, there is some white stuff around the dick head, like cream and it is very smelly. I don't feel any burning or itchiness when I urinate.

A: This is not a problem, it is normal. The white stuff is called smegma, it is made of dead skin and oil from the sweat glands: you need to wash it away every day. I suggest you ask your father for advice. But wash your penis every day and be happy with your body!


I am 18 and have never had an orgasm through masturbation!

Q: I am 18, I have an average size penis (about 6 inches). My problem is that I have never had an orgasm while I have been awake. What I mean by that is that I have had wet dreams where I actually remember cumming. I know what it feels like to have an orgasm (while I am semi-asleep) but whenever I have masturbated nothing has ever happened. I have been jacking off since I was 13 with no results. I can get an erection, I get excited, I think about sex non-stop just like any other guy. I have never actually had sex because of this. I have had oral sex but to no avail. Even that did not work for me. I don't know why. It is easy enough to get it up and even keep it up. Oral sex feels great but I never come! I have never told this to anyone since all the guys always talk about is how much they are whacking it. I just don't know why it doesn't work for me, I just keep saying to my self that it has to because of the fact I have wet dreams. Please help.

A: Well, it is unusual - but there will be a solution. We just need to help you find it. This may sound silly, but have you masturbated for long enough to bring yourself to the point of orgasm? It is necessary to masturbate hard enough and long enough to get yourself to the point where the body's reflexes take over. If you simply don't provide enough stimulation, you won't have an orgasm. So, if you are masturbating using baby oil or something similar, try without it, so that you have more friction. Try going on for longer, too. Having said that don't make your penis red raw and sore! Have you used sexy pictures to arouse yourself (pictures of men or women, according to taste)? You may be lacking the mental sexual stimulation which you need to get off. And I wonder if there is something deeper at work. Do you have any issues around sex, for example, was it taboo or hidden in your family? As a little boy did you get "hands off" (your dick, I mean) messages? If you lived in an atmosphere where sex and touching and maybe even the body was a source of guilt or shame, that could be a factor.

You may be one of a small minority of men with this issue, but you are definitely not alone. I heard from another guy who had not had an orgasm by masturbation by the time he was 19, and he decided one day that he was just "going to do it". He didn't tell me how he brought this about, but the result of his decision was that he successfully jerked off for the first time. He also tells me he has never looked back since! Could you do something similar? It sounds to me as though that process was something like taking a decision to bring his sexuality under his control.

Lastly, I hesitate to suggest this, because I know you have a lot on your plate with this problem, but some guys with similar issues have actually been trying to hide the fact that they are simply not interested in women from themselves. After they have changed their focus to men, they gradually begin the process of unfolding their sexuality. Obviously I mention this only as a remote possibility, but with the intention of assuring you that if it were the case, it would not be the end of the world. You may well know, anyway, that you are not gay, simply because your sexual thoughts and feelings do not involve men (although even straight men think about male fantasies as they masturbate from time to time). Another thought: go to the Jackinworld site and see if there is anything on there that may help you.


Foreskin problems from masturbating

Q: I want to know how often should I be wanking? I am 14 and wank about four times a day, is that bad for me? Also I am not circumcised, but my foreskin is now rolled back due to masturbating, is that normal?

A: I think four times a day is not harmful in itself, but it might make your penis a bit sore. Also, wanking can become a habit, and then its pleasure is less. The average for your age is between once a day and once every two days. I think you would enjoy it more if you cut down.

Check out www.lastlongerinbedformeneasily.com for advice on how to last longer in bed for men.


A bent penis - what can I do?

Q: My penis bends. Please help. I looked into Peyronie's disease and I think that my symptoms are similar to the ones of that disease. However, at one of the sites, it says that the disease is usually derived from an injury during intercourse and I am a virgin. Also, my penis has always had this bend in it, for as long as I remember, so it doesn't seem to me that it occurred as a result of something. If I do have this disease, is it something that can worsen with time? While my penis is bent to the left and downwards, my "pee-hole" comes out at the tip of my head. Also, my penis (for the most part) looks like a normal penis.

A: If you have no pain (which is the classic symptom of continuing changes in the penis), I would say with almost complete certainty that you have just, for some reason, been born with a bent penis. The explanation of the bend is probably that one of the internal chambers of the penis is a slightly different size to the other, so on erection, the penis bends toward the smaller side. This, I think, is just one of those quirks of fate that you can do nothing about. In Peyronie's, one of the chambers shortens because of the formation of inflexible scar tissue after an injury. Although you haven't told me how bad the bend is, I think you may find it is less significant to any potential partner than you imagine now. Usually of course a woman is very wrapped up in the size of her breasts, labia, or whether she can satisfy a man, or whatever, not in his dick issues. Having said that, the surgery for Peyronie's might work for you - perhaps they could excise part of the tissue on one side to make the two chambers the same length. I would say that unless you have a big problem, this is not an option I would recommend (simply because the penis is so precious and valuable).


White or yellow spots on the penis skin

(which you can read about here)

Q: Hi, I'm 15 (male) and, well, here's the problem. Okay, it all seems well and good that these tiny little white, yellow or creamy colored spots on the shaft of the penis or the coronal rim are just harmless sweat glands (they are harmless, right?). What did you call 'em, Fordyce spots, right? "They cannot be controlled, massaged, oiled, or wished away, or anything else." So what the hell am I to do if I've got these for the rest of my life? Have there been any cases where they've disappeared? Cos y'know, I'm a popular lad an' still a virgin, so it won't be good if my first sexual encounter ends with a scream of terror from my girlfriend followed by a slow embarrassing life at school, which is probably then followed by suicide... You say they are responsive to testosterone in the body...right? Well, since I'm 15 my hormones are goin' mental and I do masturbate (which I don't usually admit) regularly, as in, every day or so... (by the way, is that healthy, it can't be, can it?) Anyways, I guess you know how troubled I am about this, so PLEASE could you email me back, thank you VERY, VERY much...

A: Your email made me smile....sounds like you have a good sense of humor, which might be a good thing in the circumstances! On the subject, though, you have to learn to live with these "spots". (And yes they are harmless!) You don't want to hear this, I know, but here's how it is: all men have them, you are not alone, and I get loads of emails from men and boys with exactly your query. So yes, I do know how troubling it can be. OK, now, all these other guys have these spots (which they do, although I admit some have more than others), but it hasn't stopped them having good sexual relationships, right? And it won't stop you, either! The reason being that when the time is right for your "first time", you will find it doesn't matter at all. For one thing, remember that the skin of the labia - the lips around the vaginal opening - can develop these as well, so your girl may have exactly the same problem (caused by her estrogen level making her skin change thru puberty).

For another thing, she will probably be too concerned with the size of her breasts, or their shape, or the size of her labia, or whether she can please you - or something - that will take her mind off your penis! Everyone is so wrapped up in their own concerns, and thinks that these problems will be just as significant to their partner - but the funny thing is that this is almost never the case! Now, the easiest thing in the world is to give out good advice, but you have to go through the experience to really see how true it is. And of course, the problem is getting that experience when you are so concerned. I don't have an easy answer for you, except to reassure you that with age and experience, this will not seem like the big deal it does now. Believe me, I am not discounting your worries right now, but the fact is that you cannot do anything about these spots. Also, another thought: you do sound like a guy who can get along with people, so remember that when the right girl finds you (or vice versa) she won't want you just for your dick - she'll want to be with you for the sake of YOU. That's how women often see sex - as a part of love, rather than the other way round, for them, so to her it will be closeness, touching, kissing and loving intimacy that is most important.

By the way, are you worried about anything else?...I ask because sometimes people project their sexual worries onto things that they can see, like these little blemishes on the skin. As for the masturbation, I would say - enjoy it, it is quite normal and very healthy (as long as it doesn't become an obsession!).


Another bent penis

Q: Hey, I am a 16 year old male and my penis curves to the right, can u tell me what this is and how to cure it. Thanks.

A: Sadly, there is probably nothing you can do - some penises do bend to the left or the right or up or down. it's just a case of human variation.


Is this a normal erection?

Q: I really want to thank you for reading this and I really appreciate the work you do. I am 15. When I lie on my back and get an erection my penis lies against my stomach instead of standing upright. Can you please help me and tell me what to do? I am very worried.

A: For a fifteen year old, it is no surprise at all to find that your erection is hard up against your stomach. It is actually how erections are in a lot of healthy young men who have more male sex hormone than at any other time of their lives. So, even if you thought you were different from everyone else, I can assure you that you are just like lots of other teenagers. An erect penis doesn't have to be sticking straight up when you are on your back. As for making love, well, this may mean there are one or two positions that you can't use, because it would be uncomfortable for you, but it isn't a major inconvenience. So - hope that answers your question.


Is my penis normal size?

Q: Hey, I'm 16 years old, 4" inch erect, 4" girth. And I wanted to know if this was a problem, and at what age does it stop growing? Thanks for responding.

A: OK, I know this is a sensitive subject. I have dealt with a lot of men and especially those with penis problems in my work as a counselor, so I know how sensitive this issue can be for teenagers and adults. I think you probably realize you are below "average" for your age. However, an average means of course that some will be bigger, and some smaller. So that isn't really helpful - some men will always be below average, some above, and you can't do a lot about it. It's like the size of, say, your feet: controlled by mother nature, and your inheritance. So, that raises the question, is it "normal", and will it get bigger. I don't know the answer, but maybe I can offer you some thoughts.

First of all, have you developed pubic hair, a deeper voice, and hair on your body (armpits, etc). Are you masturbating and ejaculating? Do you have a higher sex drive than at 11 or 12? I ask these questions because first and foremost if the problem is that you haven't started puberty, you need to get help or advice from a doctor. And I think the same is true if you started puberty late, or you feel it isn't going as it should. By the way, I don't think you can use penis size as a measure of that - I think things like testicle growth and body hair, and sex drive and masturbation are more likely to be signs of pubertal development. Now, I can't help you with that aspect - you have to decide for yourself if there is a problem (not just based on penis size, we will come to that in a minute), and, if there is, get the advice of a doctor.

Now, if you feel happy that puberty generally is going well, this leads to the question of penis size. I think it fair to say that penis growth stops at about 17. One source of information that may be helpful to you is at www.jackinworld.com Find the site map, then go into "past surveys" and find the puberty survey. This will tell you lots of things about development in the teen years, and maybe give you an idea how you are doing.

Suppose, having said all that, that your penis is now as big as it ever will be? I guess that is what you are wondering. But the fact is that it would not be abnormal. If you read the size page of my website, you will find that this size of penis, however it makes its owner feel, is actually quite common. 0.5 per cent of men have a penis of four inches long when erect, which makes about 500,000 men in America alone. (By the way, there would be 2,500,000 men with a penis 4 and a half inches erect or less). The fact is, many of these guys have happy relationships with women...who love them for more than just their dick size (like, their personality, loving natures, because they are great dads to their kids - whatever). I want to be realistic about this because it is true SOME women WILL think penis size is important - but then so some women think having a husband with an income of over 100,000 dollars a year is important. Do you see what I am getting at? Women love different aspects of a man, and that is why I say, over and over, as many times as necessary, that penis size is mostly a male issue, not a female one.

So, is it a problem? The simple answer is that it is only a problem if it is affecting your ability to interact in some way with people....and you have said that you are basically shy of getting into a sexual situation, therefore I would say it is a problem! However, the other way of looking at the issue is not from your point of view, which will depend to a large extent on what reactions you get from others in sexual situation, but from the likely point of view of a woman. First let me say that I think you do need to accept that there are some women out there for whom things like penis size is important. This is inevitable, and whatever you think of this point of view, it is simply the case that some women believe it to be important to them. So in some cases, there will be women whom you meet for whom it may be an issue. But you need to remember that anyone who is taking the view that a physical characteristic like penis size outweighs the importance of a man's other qualities, like his caring nature, his sense of humor, and so on, is probably a superficial person anyway.

So, the question is, if you have these doubts, how can you get into a situation where you trust a woman enough to "reveal all"! The answer is that you will know when you meet someone that special, who really cares for you, and the whole process will unfold naturally. And I think there is something else you can do as well....which gives you the power and control over your fears. Honesty is always the best policy in relationships, and when you trust someone enough to want to get sexual with them, you can make gentle hints about how you find it difficult to get intimate because you have been blessed with a penis on the smaller side. Her response to this will give you a good idea of how supportive she will be, and on the basis of that you can decide whether to go further or call the whole thing off. This may sound negative, but it is a lot better than getting hurt by a negative reaction after you have taken your clothes off! If you are thinking that it would be impossible to say such a thing, then I ask you to think about the fact that all of this relates to sexual intimacy - an expression of emotion between 2 people which deserves open and honest communication. People make themselves vulnerable when they get sexual, and some of the fear that attaches to this can be discharged by talking openly with your partner. I hope this helps. If you wanted a one line answer, though, here it is: penis size matters to some people, some of the time, and not at all to others.

Whether it matters to you or not will probably depend in many ways on how careful you are in picking your sexual partners, even if this means waiting a bit longer for the right moment! BTW, know this may seem even more ridiculous, but is your Dad the kind of guy you could confide your fears in? He is a man, after all, and he will know where you are coming from. (Don't worry if this idea seems to have come from another planet. I suspect most guys couldn't bring themselves to do this! However, I do think you might be surprised by the reaction if you broached the subject.....but you know best whether this is a good idea or not).

From the tone of your message I would say you are an intelligent guy, so you may now be thinking I might be right but somehow you can't apply all this information to yourself. If you are having a problem believing things will be OK for you, have a look at the small penis forums for advice and support. You can find some information about them here. Here you may find support from guys who are successfully living with what nature has given them.


Fordyce spots - white spots on the penis

Q: I'm a 17 male virgin and after viewing your site I think I have Fordyce spots. They are on my penis (mainly the base), foreskin and scrotum (with pubic hair growing from it), and are hard and slightly raised. I have a few questions. 1. How do you get them because I'm a virgin? 2. Can you get rid of them? 3. Will I pass them on to others through sex?

A: They are quite normal, and everyone has them, read about them here.


Will my penis grow?

Q: I think your site is great. It's a very tasteful approach to this taboo subject. Anyways, I am 15, and I think I am hung a little short. All my life I have been a slow grower (in height). I want to know, does that mean my penis will take a while to grow its full length too?

A: Possibly. But the speed of your penis growth depends more on the rate of your puberty than on how tall you are growing. There is information aplenty on penis size on this website including information on average size and age.


A question about penis size - at 14, has it stopped growing? Will I get bigger?

Q: Hi there. I am 14 years old. I have a circumcised penis that is 5 inches long and 4 inches around. I was wondering: is this normal? I am still in puberty and I wanted to know if it will grow any longer. Also, some girls tell me that a guy's fingers can tell you a lot about a his penis size. Is this true? What about shoe size? Or anything else.....

A: You are absolutely normal for a 14 year old: the penis stops growing at about 17 years. The girls who tell you about links between any part of the body and the penis are speaking of things about which they know nothing...there is no connection whatever between ears, nose, fingers, toes or anything else and penis size.


My bent penis is killing me

Q: Hey I need to ask you a question. I am 15 and for as long as I can remember there has been something wrong with my penis. My whole penis bends to the right and I can never remember it being straight. It is like this ALL the time and is causing me great stress. No-one knows about this and I haven't told my parents or been to the doctor or anything.

A: Well, first of all, calm down. Firstly, can you talk to your dad? He is a man, after all, and will have an understanding of the problems that men face around their penises. Don't underestimate how much he might be able to help. I know it is a major leap of faith, and if you can't do it, well, that IS understandable. Maybe an older brother or uncle could help? As for the bend or leaning to the right, this is not so simple. I think in the end you may have to accept as a feature of your penis - there are so many penises that do this! I know this may not be a comfort to you, but I get many, many emails from guys saying their penis bends one way or the other, and what can they do about it? The answer is, probably nothing, that is what nature has given you. Just how much does it bend ? Is it within normal limits? This would actually be very bendy, up to about thirty degrees would not be uncommon. All penises seem to bend one way or the other.

Try and find a way of confiding in an adult male you trust, who knows you and who you can see in person (family doctor?) and can help you come to feel more comfortable with yourself. You are by no means the first man to have these issues in his life, and that includes loads of men with happy relationships. As their experience has shown, your future sexual and romantic prospects will NOT be affected by these issues. Believe me, this is a fact, even if you find it difficult to accept right now: women love men for themselves, not for their penises.


Bump on the penis

Q: I have a question, about my penis. I have a very small bump on the shaft, it almost looks like a zit or a pimple, but with no white head. It looks like a really small water blister but its not. I've had it for about a month now, and it doesn't hurt at all, and it doesn't seem to want to pop.

A: I would say that if you have had sex within the last 12 months or so you might want to go see a doctor for a quick check to make sure it isn't a sexually transmitted thing...otherwise, don't worry!


What are these spots on my penis?

Q: Hello, I'm 17 goin' on 18 in July....I have masturbated since I was about 13 or 14 and never had sex before until like 6 months ago...even before I had sex I had these 2 dark spots on the head of my penis on the left. They have been there for about a yr and a half or so...and now I'm just gettin' concerned. I mean it can't really be a disease can it? I've only masturbated and had sex a few times. Could it be that I masturbated too much? Or what?

A: My guess is that they are freckles or moles, you know, the thing where you just naturally get a tiny patch of brownish skin? If that's what they are, don't worry, they are harmless. If they are more reddish than brownish, then I think that is quite natural as well. Red spots on the glans are very common. Basically the message is - don't worry. But obviously if they are painful OR if they start getting bigger OR if you are worried about them then have a quick word with the doctor...he can set your mind at rest completely. They certainly won't be a sexual disease, as you say in your message, that can't be the case. And they certainly won't be caused by your masturbation, because everyone does that from about 13 - 14 onwards and we know masturbation has no harmful effects of any kind (unless you do it 8 times a day, in which case your dick gets a bit sore!)


My penis size changes all the time - is it because I have too much fat?

Q: I was just wondering whether weight or diet have anything to do with penis size. It seems that a lot of people say that losing weight adds quite a bit to your length. Is this true? Or is it only when people are extremely overweight and go back to "normal"? I am a bit overweight, and am just wondering if getting back in shape would help me at all with size. Also, I want to know if eating a lot of fatty foods is bad for one's penis. I've heard that by eating healthily, one can actually increase penis size. Through logic, one would say that size would go down by eating in an unhealthy manner. Also, when can you measure your penis when flaccid? Mine ranges between 2.5 and 4.5 inches. When sitting down, it's obviously shorter, but when standing it's a bit longer. Which measurement counts? I find that when I exercise my penis size goes down considerably, is this normal? Wouldn't it have to be the opposite, as penis size grows in hot temps? Is there a way to enhance penis growth while still in puberty. I am at that stage, and don't want to miss a chance. Also, when does the penis stop growing?

A: Lose weight and the pad of fat over the penis shrinks, therefore it looks bigger. It stops growing at 17. Eating fat clogs all your arteries including those of the penis, therefore later in life you can't get erections. So, exercise well, eat well, it all helps towards general fitness and penile fitness.


My penis has swollen - help, have I got cancer?

Q: I have been masturbating for a few years now and everything seemed to be in order until the other day when I realized that my foreskin had stretched. Now I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that it might be swollen.....it has worried me a lot 'coz I'm also thinking of cancer, should I see the doctor or could you tell me what the problem is.

A: My guess is you have wanked too much and caused a temporary swelling. If so, it will go down. If not, see a doctor. You are very unlikely to have cancer, but your thoughts of cancer are not unusual - lots of guys seem to put all kinds of fears onto their penises. If you have any concerns at all, the right thing is to get medical advice.


White spots!

Q: Hi. I have lots of tiny little white, yellow or creamy colored spots on the shaft of the penis and the coronal rim. I would like to ask if they pose any danger. Likewise, is there any cure for it?

A: These little white spots cause more worry than anything else! They are harmless, read all about them here.


Foreskin and coronal rim problems - adhesions, spots and more!

Q: I'm uncircumcised, and when I was younger (nine years old or so) I noticed my foreskin was attached to the coronal rim. As I got older (12 - 13) it started to detach from it, and now I can pull my foreskin all the way back and expose the whole head. But now there's all these tiny, little, whitish bumps along the coronal rim? Are they a result from the foreskin detaching from the coronal rim? I started masturbating at the age of 10 I think, when the foreskin was still attached to the coronal rim, but as I got older (12 - 13) I noticed the foreskin was starting to detach from the rim. Do you think masturbation could have caused the tiny, little, whitish bumps? Due to the tugging on the attached foreskin to the coronal rim? I'm 16 now, and they're still there. Will they every go away by themselves, or does a doctor have to remove them?

A: The connection between the corona and the foreskin is sometimes slow to separate in boys, and sometimes they still stick together at puberty. There are plenty of references here, if you want to look. No, I don't think that your masturbation had anything to do with their appearance, as all men have these white spots, and they are quite normal. Unfortunately you cannot get rid of them.


My frenulum has torn!

Q: Hi there! My name is ... hmm ... Anonymous .. or you can call me Joker! I have a problem of course! I'm from Bulgaria! That's not the problem! The problem is with my penis. One day I was masturbating and at the end at the orgasm I pulled the skin too hard. (Forgot to tell you .. I am a virgin and I am a guy.) And that skinny thing between the head and the foreskin tore, but not entirely and some blood came out! One day it opened again, and more blood came, though it soon stopped. So, my questions are: What's supposed to happen when you lose your virginity (I mean is this skin supposed to break?) Should there be any blood coming out? And, more to the point, what the hell should I do now? Is this going to ruin my first experience of sex? Do these things usually break when you lose virginity?

A: It is such a common myth, that a boy has to tear his frenulum when he has sex for the first time. But it isn't true! I really don't know where the idea comes from, unless it has something to do with the idea that men have to bleed a bit, like a woman when her hymen is torn. Anyway, it isn't true. Having said all of that, when a guy has a short frenulum, it can tear when he masturbates or has sex, and it is unfortunately often uncomfortable thereafter. The best thing to do if this has happened to you, and it doesn't heal up quickly, and stay healed, is to go and see a urologist, who may be able to do a simple surgical repair that prevents it tearing again.


My penis bends - help!

Q: I just can't pucker up the guts to tell ANYONE not even the doctor, about my problem, after all I'm only 15! The thing is my penis bends to the left very much when erect, and the foreskin is too tight to pull back over the head. I think that it is so tight that it may have caused my penis to grow in a bend during puberty. Is there anything I can do? It bends starting from around half way up and bends about 30 degrees to the left!

A: Right, first things first. So, you are 15. And? By not seeing a doctor, you are denying yourself the right to get what is surely something you have every right to have - happiness and better health. The fact that you are 15 and the problem concerns your penis is really irrelevant. You are a man who needs help in this matter and you have every right to get it! The fact that you are 15 does not stop you you having all the rights and expectations of any other man whatever his age. Indeed, it probably gives you more rights because at that age you need the support and guidance of older men who know what you are going through as you grow up. This means you should expect older men like the doctor to help you, not be scared of telling them your problems!

I think you now have to summon your courage and go see a male doctor. Let me explain my thinking. First it sounds like you have a phimosis, and you can't retract your foreskin. If this is so, you need to get it sorted, as it will make sex uncomfortable later in life. Plus, if your foreskin does get retracted and then won't move forward again, you have a bigger problem (try to make sure this doesn't happen when you are masturbating, by the way). You don't necessarily have to have a circumcision or a full circumcision to cure this - you can read about the options on this website. Take some time to do that, so you know what you are dealing with. Second, you are understandably troubled by all this stuff and need some practical support. If you can't speak to your dad, then your doctor, bound by confidentiality rules, and having seen it all before in his career, is the obvious choice. But you might be surprised if you did try speaking to your dad about this, by his willingness to help. Don't forget he is a man, and he knows about the penis! If you can't do that - is it even remotely possible you could talk to your mother about it? Third, the phimosis may have some bearing on your penis shape. It might be that the restriction of the skin is causing some of the bend - although the bend isn't out of line with what a lot of men have got, by the way, although I know that may not be much comfort - and if this is so, then the sooner you get the phimosis attended to, the better. Fourth, the longer you leave this problem, the more it may affect you. BUT if you start getting it sorted out now, in 12 months (or six or three, or whatever) you might be completely free of it, and happier about everything!


My twisting testicle

Q: I am 14. I have a problem with my left testicle. About 1 month ago I was watching TV and I went to take a shower. When I took my clothes off I realized that my left testicle was twisted around. It did it again exactly 10 days after that. The first time it spontaneously turned back around in about 20 min. The second time it was more like 35 min. Before the second time I could ejaculate multiple times. Now only one big ball of semen comes out. I think I am ruined for life. Do you think that it was damaged? I think I am only going to have one that works now. Please answer back....I am nervous.

A: OK, well if you have had no pain or swelling, or discomfort, you will not have had any damage, so don't worry about that. I think you would be wise to see a doctor, just to get his advice. Not that I believe there is anything wrong, because testicles do turn around like this in the scrotum. As long as they go back, there is no problem. But there is a medical emergency when a testicle spins around and refuses to go back - this needs urgent medical attention at the ER. The pain and swelling would leave you in no doubt if this had happened to you. Read about testicles and torsion here.


Have I gone through puberty at 18?

Q: I am an 18 year old teen and confused if I have gone completely through puberty or not. I want to experience sex but am afraid to do so because of my situation. My penis is 5 inches in length when hard but really thin - only 4 inches in girth. But the real problem however is that when I am not hard I am only like 2 inches or so in length and my penis is about as thick as my thumb. I have pubic hair and armpit hair and all that stuff but I am not sure if I have gone through all of puberty because I am so small. When I am not hard I look like a little 7 year old boy with pubic hair! What is my problem?

A: Yes, you have gone through puberty, I would say you are on of those men who have a long thin penis. There is nothing unusual about what you describe; even if you would rather have a thicker one, I am sorry to say you are stuck with what you have.


My penis is so small, I'll never get a girl!

Q: Hello. I am 15 years old and my penis is only like 5 inches hard and like 2 or even less soft! I hate it - there are so many hot girls I could get with but can't because of my small penis. Can I do anything about it so it will grow more? Please help! My friend has like an 8 inch penis and my brother has too. What should I do? I always go in the stall in the bathroom because my soft penis is so tiny.

A: Your soft size is irrelevant, because some penises increase much more than others when they become hard. The real issue is - how big are you when erect? We know the answer - 5 inches. So, are you abnormally small at 5 inches erect? Two points: first your penis may continue growing till you are 17, so you don't really know its final size yet. Second, you may be one of those men whose penis is in fact five inches long when erect. This is not a real problem unless you make it into one. Read everything here for a perspective on this. Some surveys suggest up to 17% of men have an erect penis which is 5 inches or less in length. Since only about 2 % of men never marry, I think we can conclude that having a five inch erect penis is not a problem in finding a partner!


One ball bigger than the other

Q: Hello. I've read your articles and I think that they are great and good advice too. I looked at your article on testicles size and it only helped me a bit. I'm 18 years old (19 in a few days) and one of my testicles is really big and the other is really small. Sometimes it shows through my trousers, it's so damn big! This has been bugging me for a number of years now, but I'm too scared to go to the doctor. I read somewhere that if you had a testicle this size it can lead to cancer - is this true?

A: No.


Has masturbation ruined my penis?

Q: I'm 15 years old. I used to around masturbate 3 times a day. However, one day I noticed a slight discoloration on the head of my penis. Ever since I feel as if I my penis isn't as sensitive as it use to be. I don't masturbate as much now because I am afraid something might be wrong. I am too embarassed to tell someone in person so I searched the web.

A: If you have any discomfort or any peeling skin, you must see a doctor, as it could be a fungal infection (something like jock itch or athlete's foot). If you haven't got discomfort or itching or flaking, then I would say that what you're experiencing is just the normal changes that happen as you mature. Particularly if you are circumcised, your penis will get less sensitive as you get older. This is not unusual. The head of the penis is exposed to rubbing on underwear etc, and it does get a bit rougher and less sensitive. I would say that if you masturbate once a day or once every two days, this will not hurt your penis; even better is to use a lubricant like baby oil (though that does stain clothing/sheets/towels) or skin moisturizing lotion. I think that once you realized your penis was a bit less sensitive, you probably noticed the color and assumed there was a connection. But I doubt there is.


Penis erection is vertical

Q: When I get an erection, my penis is vertically straight up and not outward at all. How do I fix this problem so it at least points outward more?

A: I guess you are young...this isn't a problem, it's a feature of youthful vigor! By the time guys are in their thirties their erections have begun to decline a bit. But at your age, this is often exactly how an erection is! It signals your body is full of testosterone. OK, so is it a problem? No, not really. It doesn't make sex in the missionary position any harder. It might be a bit more difficult in certain positions to enter a partner, but really, you can't change it, so just enjoy the signs of your sexuality. Read about erection angles on this website.


My penis is too damn' small!

Q: I am frustrated with the size of my penis. It's only 5 and 1/2 inches when hard. I am embarrassed to take my clothes of in front of a girl and my self-esteem is real low!

A: You have a normal sized penis.


Can masturbation stop a penis growing?

Q: Can masturbation stunt a penis's growth....I am a teenager and it is only five inches erect. So should I stop masturbating?

A: Here is a simple answer: NO! There is no harm in masturbation - as you will see if you read the site Jackinworld. The penis stops growing at about 17 years, so you may get bigger. But it isn't unusual for a man to have a penis that size...please read the size page of my web site. Let me ask you this: which is more important - your penis or you? OK, it's you, so try to come to terms with the fact that women will love you for you, not for your penis size.


My swelling penis!

Q: Miserable! A few days ago, I noticed that my foreskin and shaft has become thicker. Now, I'm a teenager, but this happened in the span of a few hours, after masturbation. I do not know if that was the trigger or not. There's no pain or discomfort, either flaccid or erect, but I'm worried about a sudden change in the skin - slight swelling, if you will. I can't tell whether it is inflammation of some kind, or irritation from a pubic hair I found caught underneath the foreskin when I was cleaning in the shower. I have not seen a doctor yet as I wanted to see whether it would return to normal by itself. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

A: Could be a bit of edema or water retention in the tissues, especially if you were a bit rough during masturbation. I suggest if it hasn't gone down after a few days, you have a quick word with the doctor, just for reassurance, because it doesn't sound serious....although I agree it is a bit odd. Back to top of page