The-Penis.com

Living With A Small Penis

Personal stories of living with a small penis

A personal story (submitted by "J")

My name is J and I have a very small penis. Sounds like the Alcoholics Anonymous greeting!! I have always been ashamed of it and didn’t really think about others having the same problem. It doesn’t seem to have grown in size since I was about 14 or 15. When it is not flaccid it measures 2.5" and when it is erect is measures 4" long and 4" around the thickest part of the shaft.

I have lots of hang ups about having a small cock and I hope that writing down my early experiences will kind of help me as I’ve never really been able to be this frank with anyone face to face. I think it would be good to hear from others about when they first realized that they had small penises, the impact it had on them and how they dealt with it. From what some people say, there are similarities with other people's experiences too.

This is my story, so here goes: I was 23 last week and it was my birthday that caused me to start thinking in detail again about my penis size which led me to find this web site. I first realized that something wasn’t quite right at the age of about 15. I grew up in Zimbabwe in southern Africa.

Puberty started at the same time as the other boys at round the age of 13 and 14 when I started masturbating, getting pubic hairs, spots and my voice broke. So much was happening to our bodies at that age, and we were all very curious. We would talk about and often show each other and compare ourselves when getting changed or showering before and sports at school.

For the boys who started developing early, they would show off their wares to the wonder of all the other boys. Size wasn’t really an issue at 14, although I do remember one boy having a large "man's" penis with lots more hairs than the rest of us.

We were all very envious of him, and although in other respects he was nothing special, this alone gave him a higher status than the rest of us and put him at the top of our pecking order.

Approaching the age of 16 most of the other boys were catching up with this guy as they gradually developed adult-sized penises. Because these things happen slowly over time, I was only vaguely aware that mine wasn’t increasing at the same rate as the others and I was starting to fall behind. In fact even as a young boy I probably had a slightly smaller than average penis, but at that age everyone’s is pretty small so it's not an issue.

No one else had ever mentioned it and I had never given it a second thought. All these thoughts were still just at the back of my mind and I hadn’t consciously taken on that by now most other boys had bigger penises while mine was still much the same size at it had been when I was 14.

Now my brother is 2 years younger than me and his birthday is exactly a week before mine. On his 14th birthday all the relatives came round and we had the usual family gathering. They all "oohed" and "aahed" about how grown-up he had become, which made me sit up and notice.

Yes, he was growing up very quickly. He was always well built, but looking at him now, I could now see how big he had become, his voice had broken early and he had a deep manly baritone voice. One of my aunts jokingly quipped to me that I better watch out because he was catching up on me fast, and that I would soon have to start being polite to him.

My bother was very athletic and I wasn’t as broad boned as he was, so apart from being a bit taller, I was not really bigger or stronger than him in any case. As one set of relatives had traveled a long distance, they were staying the night and using my brother’s room so he was sleeping on a camp bed in my room.

Having separate bedrooms, it had probably been some months since I had last seen my brother undressed so as we got ready for bed it came as a quite shock to me to see how quickly my brother had developed. I could not believe it. He had what looked to me like a proper adult penis, quite long and thick, with lots of thick hair around it.

He was obviously very well developed for his age, easily on a par with most and better than some of the boys of my age. He must have been the biggest amongst his peers giving him a superior status.

Without a doubt he was bigger than me. The length might have been not that much more, but it was the thickness which made it look so big and grown up. He noticed me gawping and made some joke about how all the aunties would "ooh" and "aah" if they could see how big he was now, and he seemed quite comfortable and used to showing it off.

To hide my embarrassment, I said something like "My God, you are growing up! They’re right, I might have to start being polite to you soon." He put his night clothes on, I still had to get undressed and he was talking to me while watching me. I knew it was going to be awkward to try and turn away and hide myself when I took my pants off, but then even that option was taken away. Suddenly the spotlight was on me as he said quite innocently "Go on, let's see what I’ve got to beat then if I want you to be polite to me."

He obviously thought that being brothers it would be in the genes and I would also be big for my age.

Before I had seen him a moment ago, this request wouldn’t have bothered me in the slightest, and I would have had no qualms about letting him see me get undressed.

But now everything had changed and I was terrified, but there was no way out. With my heart pumping like mad, I had no option but to undress in front of him.

Very nervously I took off my pants and not sure whether to just stand there and let him look, or to quickly put on the night clothes. I remember his reaction - "Shit!" he exclaimed - and I just stood dejectedly in front him. After that I can’t remember exactly what we said.

I know it ended up with him dropping his trousers for a proper comparison. Remember I said that his penis probably wasn’t much longer than mine. Standing side by side made things look very different and measuring up, the results were even more damning.

I can’t remember our dimensions in inches, but I was shocked to find he was nearly double my length, but it was still his superior width (about double as well) which made such a huge contrast in appearance.

His looked really thick and fleshy while mine in comparison was like a little thin worm.

In fact that’s how he described it: "a little worm". From then on he always called me by this new nickname: "Wormy".

Picking up again on my aunt’s comment he said that now I had better start being polite to him. During the following 24 hours he went on and on about it to me. He was over the moon with this unexpected turn of events and was making the most of it.

I on the other hand felt quite humiliated and just tried to keep a low profile hoping that this would all blow over. In the following week leading up to my birthday, our relationship shifted.

I at first kept quiet and let my brother gloat waiting for it to tail off. That was probably a mistake, because in some way which I don’t know how to explain he had challenged my position, and by not asserting myself, I had not defended it and so he some how "won" and came out on top. I not sure how I expected this "victory" to manifest itself, but I accepted that I would now have to treat him more like an equal.

Unfortunately this wasn’t the case, and without me realizing it, in a few short days at each challenge I relinquished more ground and he consolidated his position as the dominant one, sort of top dog or leader, and in that sense my aunt had been prophetic and I did now have to be polite to him.

At the end of this eventful week was my birthday party. I now had to try and cope with my brother's new status, but I told myself that it was because he was just a very early developer, and nothing would change among my peers and friends as I was still much the same as them.

This kept on nagging at me all week. I kind of brought to my consciousness the thoughts I previously mentioned about my development falling behind them. I tried as hard as I could to recall what they looked like in the showers, but it hadn’t been such an issue before I hadn’t taken that much notice.

I knew it would be resolved on my birthday, because another boy at school had the same birthday, so we had arranged a joint barbeque party, but starting with a water polo match, me and my school friends versus him and his school friends, so there would be at least 30 boys getting changed and showered with whom I could compare myself.

When the time came, I felt like everyone would be staring at me and know that I was staring at them. When you see people change gradually you don’t often notice how they much they are growing until someone points it out. Looking at all these boys, I realized that they all seemed to have significantly bigger penises than me and I was surprised that I hadn’t noticed that there was such a big difference before.

I was definitely a lot smaller than just below average. Probably in the same way that I didn’t notice how big they had grown, they hadn’t noticed that my cock hadn’t grown very much and was still very small. At this point I felt almost as if my world had caved in.

Later that evening me and a few friends had stashed some beer away and w found a dark corner of the garden and got a bit drunk. With the help of the drink, and feeling very sorry for myself I plucked up the courage, I told this group of friends about my predicament.

They admitted that now thinking about it, it was small for my age and yes on reflection they did think that I had the smallest one in our age group.

Also, once I had drawn attention to it, they all took the next opportunity of looking at it and then they realized exactly how deficient I was. Once something like this was out, you couldn’t stop it, and soon it was common knowledge and rumors started growing that I had the smallest cock in the whole school and so I was on the receiving end of a lot of teasing, with the most persistent offenders being the juniors who somehow now felt superior to me.

At school you can’t avoid having to get changed in the presence of other kids, often with boys of all ages. The thing is that as you get older, and the rest of your body develops and gets bigger too, a small penis looks even smaller in comparison, and I knew mine looked out of place and ridiculous.

A year on, at the age of 17 I had just started shaving the first sprouts of beard on my face, but down below there was still no change. It was in that year that I finally gave up any hope of any increase in my size.

Some of the most humiliating times were when I was 18 in my final year.

All my peers were strutting about like men, getting girlfriends and generally lauding it over the rest of the school and then there was me, still feeling like a boy and too nervous to ask any girls out. Even in our final year there were still occasions when we had to use the changing rooms with 13 and 14 year old first year kids.

I was painfully aware that while the other "men" of my age enjoyed the admiring and envious glances from the juniors, there were even one or two of these first year kids with more adult looking penises than mine.

A few of the kids had the balls to openly make comments, or wisecracks and then everyone would laugh, and I couldn’t really do anything about it because invariably those laughing loudest were the boys of my age.

However that wasn’t as bad as the whispered comments and sniggering behind my back. My brother did continue to develop and by the time he was 16 or 17 his penis was fully developed and to this day although I don’t know the exact measurements, he definitely has a much larger than average one. We occasionally play squash together and in the showers he still sometimes teases me but not maliciously.

Although I am 23 now, I have had a few girlfriends, but I am still a virgin because I’m so embarrassed about my size, but I guess most of it is in my head, and there are many women who wouldn’t mind at all, so I’m just waiting to find one of these women.

A personal opinion on penis size

I am also one of the “penile challenged”. My penis when fully erect is approximately 4.25 inches in length with a circumference of 4.15 inches at the widest part of the shaft and 4.5 inches around the corona. I don’t even bother to measure it when flaccid because there is considerable variation depending on too many external factors to obtain a reliable measurement.

Like most Americans born in the 1950’s I was circumcised soon after birth and now that I am in my middle 40’s I am losing sensation in my glans. The loss of sensation has led to difficulty in maintaining and erection during intercourse. Which ironically is happening at the same time my wife is experiencing increasing sexual desire now that she is a postmenopausal woman. The situation has added to the anxiety and frustration I already feel over my size.

I too have struggled a lifetime with feelings of sexual inadequacy, low self-esteem, social inferiority, envy, and helplessness. After more than 15 years of a loving and committed marriage my wife and I still are uncomfortable when confronting and discussing the myths, realities, and my feelings regarding size and the emotional impact it has had on my mental wellness and our relationship.

I also don’t place a great deal of credibility in any of the Size Surveys on the Internet (or anywhere else for that matter). I have problems with the lack of control over sampling techniques and metrics used by many of these studies. I do not believe that 6.5 inches is an accurate mean (average) for the greater population and I also have problems with the 5.1 or 5.2 inch figure mentioned elsewhere. I know that if I were to respond to an Internet survey I would say that my cock is 5 inches long and 5 inches around and if a urologist were to answer the same question after examining me he/she would answer 4.0 and 4.5 inches.

So my estimate is that the real number is probably between 5.8 and 6.0 inches length and 5.0 inches in circumference when erect. When you look at studies of other human anatomical and physiological attributes, such as height for instance, you see that the observations are closely ordered around the mean resulting in less variance and therefore a smaller order of magnitude for the standard deviation.

You might be saying, so, how does that relate to studies of size and what does it mean to me?

It is my belief the standard deviation numbers produced by these studies are greatly overstated. For example one of the Internet studies says the mean size is 6.5 inches with a standard deviation (+-) 1.2 inches; if the distribution of observations is actually normally distributed around the mean (a bell curve) this would indicate that ~66% of the population has penis lengths within (+-) 1 standard deviation from the mean (5.3 to 7.7 inches) and ~96% would be within (+-) 2 standard deviations from the mean (4.1 to 8.9 inches). If the variation in penis size is consistent with the variation in other human anatomical and physiological attributes (closely ordered around the mean) you would expect to see the lower numbers come up and the higher numbers come down. For example if 6.0 inches were the actual mean with a standard deviation of .75 inches (which I think is a more realistic number) then ~66% of the population would be between 5.25 and 6.75 inches in length and ~96% between 4.5 and 7.5 inches.

This is disturbing news for those of us in the 2% of the population on the left side of the curve below 4.5 inches. If this were any other human physical condition there would be private and federal money poring in for a remedy and cure for our suffering.

It is also my opinion that as societies have evolved, other factors (mostly psychological), such as perceptions safety, security, the ability to provide, and etc., can compensate and/or offset the pleasure attributed to size alone.

The perception a woman has regarding these other factors plays a role in the sexual experience by having a positive or negative impact on what a woman derives emotionally from the sexual relationship with a man.

This would explain how some one like me can have a lasting and satisfying monogamous sexual relationship with a woman and even father her children and some of the other males who belong to the 2% of the population on the right side of the curve (7.5 inches or more) cannot maintain a successful lasting intimate relationship with a female. Perhaps these individuals have never learned how to produce the other more psychological factors.

From my personal experience: I once had a roommate who by all accounts was at least 1 (possibly 2) standard deviation(s) from the mean in length and girth but the was lonely and miserable despite the fact women would croon over him. Sometimes I could hear his partners moaning and screaming in ecstasy, often they would actually come to tears of exhilaration as he pounded their flesh in his room.

After the first couple of encounters with him, many of his girlfriends would never be heard from again. Some of these women would just use him for sex while maintaining relationships with another male, leaving him feeling dejected and bitter. I know many of you are saying to yourself “What's the big deal! I should be so lucky! If it were me things would be different; I would just enjoy what came my way.”

He could never understand how I could maintain long lasting loving relationships where sex was something to be shared and experienced between a man and a woman and not just some primordial selfish conquest for him and his partners. He longed for a relationship as much as I longed for a night of physical uncivilized sex with woman.

I was envious of his ability to bring such basic satisfaction to a woman from sheer physical prowess; I was especially envious of his ability to do so without the requirement of establishing an emotional foundation first. I was also envious of his own confidence in his ability to produce this result. He would seldom let an opportunity for sex pass, but I often would due to lack of confidence in my physical abilities.

Advice from the small penis forums at Measurection.com

This is a small set of extracts from the various forums on the net. The best thing about these forums is that they offer a chance top understand that you are not alone with your concerns, and that there are hundreds if not thousands of guys out there who know exactly what you are going through. The forums cover both gay and straight men, and bisexual men as well. I think it is a fact that whatever you are looking for you will be able to find it in these groups. The extracts are edited, but they give a good flavor of the discussions that spring up and wax and wane. Well worth a look. And my thanks are due to the guys whose questions and answers I have quoted.

Weight and appearance - does a lot of fat hide the penis?

I lost 68 pounds and gained an inch.

My cock was just under 4 inches when I was 400 lbs, but managed to stretch over 5" when I lost weight. Five inches is certainly not the biggest tool in the workshop, but it still can satisfy a good percentage of the female population out there.

And how small can a penis be?

When flaccid, I'm either 1/2" or it goes inside: when hard I'm about 4".

I am just a tad over 3 inches erect and 1/2 inch soft.

I'm 3.75 inches long x 4 in circumference fully erect.

Here's one for ya...anyone else like this?? Under normal conditions (temperature, boxer shorts), my dick measures a full 4" long and 4 .75" around soft. Sure, I'm no horse and don't really like showing it off around better-hung guys, but for the most part it looks fine and the women who have seen it soft have said it looks like a decent sized dick. But when I get hard all I've got is 5 1/8 inches. It fills out a bit and angles upward at 45 degrees but hardly gets any longer. Just stiffens. One girlfriend who I was able to talk to did say that she thought when she first saw it that I would be much bigger with a hard-on. She had another guy who was three inches soft and climbed to 7" hard. I know that some guys with huge soft dicks don't get much longer hard...but anybody else like me with a average size soft dick that doesn't grow much?

And a reply from a gay man who claims lots of experience in the field:
Dicks like yours aren't real, real common, but they're common enough that it wouldn't even rate a mention..... I don't mean to make light of something that is bothering you, I just want you to know that it's pretty common. I have the reverse syndrome (3 inch soft to 7 hard) and I'd guess that those 2 kinds are about equal in occurrence. As a straight guy, other guys will only see you soft, so being over-average when soft is probably good. If you are seeing lots of guys in the locker room with soft dicks larger than yours, guess what?. They ain't totally soft! Don't drop the soap, dude! Oh, and 5 1/8 inches isn't far off average length, either. Stop worrying!

Just what is average? Apparently not what we thought.

We've all been looking at an "average" size that's one inch larger than what the current statistics say really is average. It's 5.03" and NOT 6". How many of us with 5" cocks consider ourselves smaller than average now?

The incredible shrinking penis.

I'm a board certified urologist in practice for more than 18 years, and I have seen more dicks than I really care to admit. Average size is indeed shrinking according to urology clinical literature....I suggest you hit MedLine if you don't believe the statistics. Men who are between 4.75 and 6.75 inches when erect are now considered normal. The studies which established this size range were conducted far more stringently: with more men and under better clinical controls. The largest erection I have ever seen in my practice is 12 inches (on a white patient). The smallest was 0.75 inches (on a black patient). As for the contention that there is ANY connection between genetics and penis size - this is NOT correct. NO credible evidence has ever been offered in clinical literature to suggest such a link (eg dad had a big dick so I will too....that kind of reasoning).

Does your Dad's dick size have any effect on yours?

My father, my brother and I all have the same (rather undersized) flaccid cock, about 1.5-2" long (I've never seen either with a hard-on and don't want to -- LOL!). My paternal male cousins, sons of my father's sister, are all generously hung (he has no brothers).
So are my maternal male cousins, sons of my mother's brother. My father, my brother and I share the same Y chromosome -- it determines maleness and is passed down unchanged, father to son to grandson. But my male cousins on both sides of my family have different surnames and different Y chromosomes.

Questions:
1. Does anyone know of any research on the effect of Y chromosome heredity on cock size?
2. Assuming you have no medical anomalies, how do your soft cocks compare in size to those of your father, brother(s), and paternal male cousins, the sons of your father's brother(s)? All of you should have the same Y chromosome. (In fact even very distant male cousins, provided they each have an unbroken paternal line back to a common male ancestor -- usually meaning that they have the same surname -- share the same Y chromosome.)

The answers provided were all very clear: there is no connection between size down the male father-son generations. (And that isn't surprising, because penis size isn't determined by the Y chromosome alone). Here was one typical answer, arrived at in a fairly unusual way:

My cock (age 61) is 5.5 inches long hard. My son's cock (age 39) is 6inches hard. My grandson's (age 16) is 7.5 inches hard. The only constant factor is the male side was blood related from me to them, but the female blood line was mixed! So, maybe mom's father's cock size is a factor? PS: And yes, we openly measured....we're all nudists and ran the tape by each family "member" poolside at the house just for the hell of it! The measuring session was fun, though not necessarily sexual or erotic. My grandson popped a woody on request; my son shyly tugged it up to full length and I, well I'm at the age where ya' have to rub the damn thing with steel wool just to get its attention, but, surprisingly, I rose to the occasion in rather short time...The entire contest took about 5 or 6 minutes to complete. My son and I went up and down, but the kid.. well he went up and stayed up for a while... just stood around, pointing at us, hands on hips, gloating! We reminded him that it was our genes and our food that gave him that swingin' beauty. I'm glad he has more than his dad and I, for life today is too complicated to waste time pondering about the length of one's cock. He, of course, can set aside that issue and find another body part to worry about!

So what about hard and soft size?

When erect I'm about 5.25" long by 2" wide at the maximum width (about 6.5" in girth). Average length, above-average width. Okay, but nothing to brag about - though I suspect most women would prefer width to length, if they were forced to choose (they don't use No. 2 pencils for dildos!). What bothers me is that when flaccid I'm only about 1.5-2" long. Sure, soft size doesn't count in sex, but it's embarrassing in the locker room - or standing at a busy row of urinals (I always try to give a secret extra tug when pulling it out to piss, just to temporarily increase its length). Anyone else have this problem? Mini-soft but average hard?

I sort of have the same problem. I'm also 5.25 hard, although not as much girth as you. However, my soft size fluctuates like the wind. I can be 3.5 or so soft - but I can also be 1.5 give or take. It's real frustrating at times, especially if you are trying "to make a good showing" and you have no idea exactly what size you're going to be holding when you pull it out of your pants. Oh well, give it that extra tug to go on about your business, I guess.

A practical problem - urinating, in public or private

I'm probably smaller and shorter than most of you guys. When I sit on the toilet I lean forward and have to push my dick down to pee. If I don't, the pee stream not only goes forward and misses the toilet . . . it actually goes upward! Am I anatomically weird, or do other small guys have to do this too?

I have the exact same problem! I'm about 1/2" soft and that includes foreskin so it I have to make a "V" out of my index and middle finger to hold my little dick down. It usually dribbles down my balls too so I have to wipe them afterward. Doesn't make me feel very masculine, that's for sure.

Great message, I am with you guys, and I thought I was the only one. I have the same problem of stopping the flow as I push my dick back and then when I think I've stopped pissing it all comes out after I am about to pull my underwear up. Thanks. I've needed to share and hear this stuff. Real uptight and ashamed of my dick for years.

What bothers me is a "Bashful Kidney". I simply cannot pee if anyone else is in the room. Individual stall urinals don't help, and the open kind or trough is agony. If no private toilet stalls are available for me to sit, I can't pee.

Note - there are (or were) support groups for this condition ("parauresis"). They seem to be still around but I'm not sure they are active. There are some useful links, though, all the same. Here are the URL's:

International Parauresis Association

People can be cruel.

I am about 5" hard, and 2" soft. Have always been humiliated to undress or shower in front of others. I could see very few had one as small as mine. My Father didn't help much, as he was always teasing me about my "little peanut", even in front of others. I remember when I told my Father that my gym teacher said we were required to use a jock strap and I didn't have one. My Father laughed and said, "You don't need one with that little peanut." I cried that time. Being overweight now compounds the problem as NOTHING shows.

An answer:

It's all in your head, son! But then I'm sure you know that already. The thing you need to work on is not to stop worrying about the size of your penis but to concentrate on the positive things about yourself. If you equate your self-worth to the size of your cock, you are just as much of a dick head as the guy who thinks he's a stud because his is big.....Identify the best parts of who you are and let those things become the centerpiece of your identity, not your weight or your loss of hearing, and certainly not that piece of anatomy that allows you to pee.

So what do women want?

I'm getting very confused....I surf to all size forums every night on here and all the info I find confuses me big time because there are so many different views and insights into this question. I have read from medical specialists that size doesn't matter and that women don't care and.....I have read postings in forums by women saying how they don't care what size their men are and that size doesn't matter. Then I read a posting about a guy with a huge penis doing a striptease in front of women in a nightclub and all the women went crazy. If they don't care about size so much then why do they go ballistic over a well hung guy?

One suggestion:
Here's another way of looking at it: sure, those women went wild over the stripper with the big dick, but don't we also enjoy seeing strippers with huge breasts? Do we think they'll be better in bed, more satisfying, because they have large breasts? Nope! Applauding at what you are seeing on a stage doesn't really indicate who you want to sleep with.

And another:
I think the real question when it gets down to the nitty-gritty has to do with "Do I accept myself as I am?" "Do I find my maleness and my dick size attractive and sexy?" A wise man said "change your thinking and you change your world". Since I have accepted my under 5 inch cock more and more, I am finding other guys who are short and sexy are paying me attention too - sexual attention included.

Look really closely at photos of nude males in the magazines - unless they specialize in dicks of unusual size, many of the men are 4.5-6.5 hard. First figure how many fingers the guy can get around his dick. Its easy to see that even guys that look long, can get maybe 4 fingers and a thumb - that is about 5 inches. Notice how high above his pubic hair line his dick extends. That tells you so much! Many dicks that look big hard, are only at the pube line or slightly above it. That is an average dick. Notice how big your dick would look if photographed from below or with a semi-hardon - you know, engorged but not enough to lift it up. Many guys are photographed at that stage of erection - it looks like a soft one but it's closer to a hard-on. These are some ways that photos can create illusion. Nude male photographers have many more techniques to make every guy longer than he is. Strippers get semi-hard, put on a cock ring, and dance as if they are at total "repose" and very long - in reality, they have a semi-erection.

And another response:
I recently asked several women I work with what they thought about cock size. The group consisted of many women, of different ethnicities, different religious backgrounds, different economic statuses, and different body sizes. In group discussions, among their other female co-workers, all these women seemed to indicate that a larger penis was more desirable. But, individually (i.e. asking the same question away from other female co-workers) the women expressed less a concern over a guy's penis size. By no means is this a scientific poll, but I think it shows a tendency for many people to succumb to "groupthink." The more extroverted women (in an almost comical manner) expressed strong opinions about cock size and the others seemed to follow. The group was harmonious. Individually though, women did not seem to care at all about the size of a guy's penis. Some even said they'd have sex with Tom Cruise even if they knew he had a two incher. Incidentally, the three most attractive females had had sexual experiences with a guy with a smaller than average cock. All three said their experiences sexually with these men were overwhelmingly satisfying. One, perhaps the most attractive of all, said she was still in love with her less than average sized lover. I guess this all means that your package is not your total package to most women.

And again:

Here's my opinion: I'm bi, and I've probably been to bed with 15 different women. NONE, not one, ever complained about my 5 incher. Why? Because I had a good personality before I took them into the sack, and secondly, they knew, being a man, that I HAD a dick to satisfy them to begin with. I also got to be quite talented with my tongue, to get them very excited. I've never had a woman laugh or giggle when I took my clothes off. And I've always been a few pounds overweight. I'm also short in the soft dick department, between 1" and 2" cut. If I would have ever had a woman laugh (years ago) I would have bolted for the door after putting my clothes back on. But it never happened. Let's get real here...I've never taken a woman to bed, and after seeing her naked, laughed because her tits were too small, so what does she stand to gain if she laughs at the man who is there to try and please her with a dick that's shorter than she expected? In reference to the HUNG striptease guys....let's face it....they have a GREAT body to begin with. Put a huge dick on that great bod of his and you have something even better. Do you really think those women would go nuts over a stripper that looked ugly, even though he might have had a 10" dick? I think not. Besides, if I went to a strip bar with cute male strippers I couldn't care less how big their dicks were...I'm there for their overall body (face, abs, ass...) and how they use it. I'll wrap it up by saying SURE I wish I had a huge dick. I don't think there's a man in this world who wouldn't like to show off a foot long dick. But there are more guys like us (average and below) then there are of them. So chances are your doctor, lawyer, teacher, mayor and auto mechanic, not to mention high school friend who got all the chicks, may have very well had a 4 or 5 incher himself. LOTS of guys out there have one. I joined this forum when it first opened, and since then I have showered in front of guys, and met several others in person with my clothes off. This forum has helped me tremendously in knowing that there are a lot of other guys out there in this world with the same "problem" that I have. And it's not so bad.

Does it cause a problem conceiving?

Being hung short was never an issue until a doctor friend brought it up when I mentioned that my wife and I were having trouble having a child. He told me that penis length is a VERY important factor in fertility. He taught me an excellent position for making love that once we got the hang of it we had a baby right away. Both my wife and I have taught this to dozens of couples who were having troubles having children (by the way, all of the guys I talked with told me that they were hung short too, i.e. 5.5 inches or less erect) and all of the couples (with one exception) have since had children. Here's how: 1) Have your woman place a small pillow under her hips. 2) When you enter into her have her open her legs wide, bend her knees and pull her knees up to her chest which will allow you much deeper penetration with your penis. 3) Go as deeply into her as you can and feel for her cervix, which feels like pressing on the tip of your nose. When you feel her cervix with your penis stay deep into her and climax. 4) Have her lie still for one hour before getting up. That's it! Hope this helps other couples too. And be proud of your sexuality - all penis sizes are equally masculine.

But.....

I'm sorry, but I think this doctor is a quack...I'm endowed at about 4" erect, and my wife became pregnant with twins the first month we tried (and yes, I'm quite certain they're mine). From what I've read, any size penis, no matter how small, can impregnate a woman. If you're having trouble, it ain't the length... it's the sperm count!

And....

I also am short, and my wife got pregnant within two weeks of her first period after we were married. We had our second child within two years after that.

How do you do it (sex, that is) ?

I am in my late 20's and my cock is 3 inches when soft, 5 inches when hard. I am circumcised too. I need some advice on when I am having sex with my girlfriend. When we are in the missionary position I sometimes pop out. This is very frustrating! Advice? Comments? I have also discovered to my dismay that small sized guys cannot do it doggy style with success.

I recently watched a porno flick and the guy with a 8 or 9 incher kept popping out. Your five incher is fine. The doggy style should work too. It may be that your gal has to get into a better or more accepting position. It works for my bride and I and we're not talking about much difference in size either.

I'm really convinced that the size of your cock is not a obstacle for giving and receiving pleasure. I think the best position for a guy who is kind of short is with her on top - and probably the most pleasurable for any woman. This is a very comfortable position that allows her to get some control, and you don't have to worry about popping out. Also, at the same time you can use your hand to give some massage to her clitoris; that will make her go nuts and reach an orgasm. Besides, my friend, any guy not matter his size can pop out. Good Luck.

I am the same size as you and had the same problem. Too much lube can make it pop out. Maybe the two of you are too "wet." Practice makes perfect. There is no reason you cannot do it doggie style. It works fine. Another good way is with her on her side and you enter from the rear - sort of doggie style laying down.

I'm in my 40's, 5 and half inches long when hard with a circumference of 4 inches and by adopting the appropriate angle and by positioning the woman correctly for a particular style, I manage to fuck them for their pleasure (and mine!) and only very seldom slipping out - doggy is fabulous and I've used this position with small and obese women.

Are size and race related?

I don't know about other Asian races but I know about Korean because I am Korean. I think my size is average size in my country. My length is 4 inches when erect, my girth is 3.5 inches.

I guess the average penis size for an Asian guy is 4 to 5 ½ inches when erect. I am Asian and I also have same size penis as you.

And how does a small dick affect life?

After exercise, my cock is about 1.5 inches long and it just sticks out directly and needs some encouragement to go back to its normal shape and size. I would just love a swinging dick, not a dick that sticks out - you know. Generally it's about 2.5-3 inches soft. I have always had this hang up.

It stops you really letting lose and doing things you should be able to do. I always see guys with bigger dicks than me so I have begun to realize I have a pretty small cock all in all.

I have friends but I would never compromise my position and let them see my cock. Word could spread. What do ya think, yes I need psychological help but I am 34 now and many years have passed with my cock size hang up. All in all I am reasonably happy but I would love a cock that feels like a cock - a swinging dick that fills your pants.

I know exactly how you feel. I am older than you, but I went through the same feelings. All my life I avoided sports so I would not have to change in from of others. At some point, around age 45, I decided I was not going to let my life be dictated by the size of my dick. I decided to see and be seen. I started swimming at the YMCA. At first I was embarrassed, but, while I saw many guys with large cocks, I found there were a few just a small as me. Never did anyone comment on my size. I was amused by the teenagers who hid their dicks, even though most of them were quite well hung. If you were my son, I would say to you, "You're not a teenager any more. You are not in competition with anyone. Get on with your life."

You put it so poetically: a "swinging" dick. But, compared to me, you are really hung. My cock is about 2 inches flaccid; but there's no giving a definitive size because of all of the things that we do and all of the contracting effects that this has on the little guy - swimming, crouching down etc. You know what? I've had a hip problem for about 8 years. It happened one night when I was out running; all of a sudden my hip just lost its strength and I limped all of the way home. Over the last 8 years, it has played up intermittently but I won't go and see a physio about it because they will ask me to strip down to my underwear and they will be manipulating in an area of my body that is just a hands-length away from my little guy! This is the extent of the hang up that I have ... I won't strip down to my underwear in front of people. It's an absolute fucking bitch of a problem when a guy's got a little dick. I'm 31 and I've said that this year will be the one that I go out and get myself laid (yep .. still a virgin at 31!) If the guy laughs (I'm gay) then fuck it; I can handle it.

Recently, my wife and I rented Boogie nights. This led to sex, and a discussion of penis length. I told her I was 4 1/2" which I had always told her, but she wanted to measure me, anyway. To my surprise, I came up at 4 1/4". This got us onto the subject of a big dick. She just blurted out, with a laugh that the first guy she slept with was twice my size and very thick (she had measured him). I'm a little on the thin side, also. We have good sex, but she got this look in her eyes, I asked what she was thinking, she said she was thinking about this guy and how good he felt. She then went on to tell me about her other three lovers who were all at least 2" longer. She's never said anything about size before, I am strangely turned on by the fact that she is expressing her dissatisfaction with my size. Any others like me?

It really can be all in the mind!

I wanted to say a few words about my personal experience. For most of my life, I've had a crippling lack of confidence when it came to my size. I have avoided undressing in front of males at any cost, and have always cringed at jokes/comments about penis size. Often, I have had bouts of depression over the issue as well. I have had few sexual experiences as a result... only one partner up until now. It was a 5 year relationship, and the sex was actually very good for most of it. My girlfriend always claimed that my size was fine and that she was very much satisfied and very much in love. From her physical reaction in bed, things seemed to work fine. My conception of my problem, however, continued throughout the entire relationship. We later broke up for unrelated reasons. A few months ago, I decided to check around the Internet to see if there was any information about average penis size. I found this board and other sites devoted to the topic, and was surprised to find out I was "average" (I'm 6" long by 5.5" girth, 23yrs old, 5'11'', 155lbs). At first, I really didn't believe it. I mean, I've been seeing/hearing things from people and the media and the porn industry my whole life that said what I had was small. Every time I was in the locker room and looked around, it seemed everyone else was so much bigger. My point here is that, although I have a relatively normal package, my perception of it was so skewed that I was *convinced* my cock was abnormally small. I was convinced even though I seemingly fully satisfied a woman for close to 5 years. The truth is, I still cannot shake it... it's like the 60lb anorexic peering into a mirror and still seeing a fat person. I second guess the studies, still really can't undress in front of others, and avoid relationships from embarrassment and lack of confidence. I think I may be getting better because I'm starting to realize the absurdity of my feelings... but I still have the feelings. I apologize if I don't make sense... I just had to get it out I guess.

Sometimes you need to learn to love yourself.

My cock is only 5 inches long and it's bent to the left. The bend really makes me feel bad about myself. When I look into the mirror I just see an ugly freak of nature. Another thing is that the bend makes me look smaller than I really am. So what I wanna know is if there is anyway to straighten my penis out before I die from penis depression?

Guys: I work with a large number of men counseling on sexual matters. I want to be able to offer more help to these great guys who have a negative image of themselves due to short dick size. It can really limit a person's pleasure and relationship satisfaction, as you probably know. It often damages self esteem. Please let me know what has helped you....seeing pictures of attractive men with short cocks? Therapy? This forum? Talking to other shorties? Support groups? How about showing it, or telling others about it? I would really be happy to hear what you have to say and to be able to pass you experiences and wisdom to others. Thanks.

I think feeling good about a smaller cock begins as a teenager. My dad was small and helped me fell ok about mine in a very natural way. He was always the first to strip in the locker room and the last to get dressed. He taught me that size wasn't something to hide and be ashamed of. He talked to me and shared his positive experiences with sex also. I'm proud of my smaller than average cock!

And how important is it in the end that you have a small penis? (and don't miss the irony....)

So let's get something straight.....is being A Man really about how much you have between your legs???

Yes, it is. Manhood is about dick size, plain and simple. There are no other considerations whatsoever. In fact, all the other organs of the body are non-descript and unimportant; only the penis matters, and only a large one at that! Huge dick size should be the lone criterion for any arena in which manhood - indeed, personhood - is at stake. It should be a law that only big-dicked men can have driver's licenses, be offered jobs, or own property of any kind. No credit card company should extend credit unless it's to a man with an enormous pecker. And of course, the list just continues into myriad realms of human life, the common bond among those realms being the absolute cosmic requirement of a stupendous dong. Thank you for asking.

Well, I know that must be a rhetorical question...because nearly everyone would acknowledge that cock size is not the measure of manhood. But in the Real World, men with short cocks are humiliate and made fun of by other men especially, but also by some women. Many guys feel like they are more manly by being bigger than other guys. No matter how much A Man some guy might be, being humiliated, embarrassed and told "you don't have enough" well that leaves a mark on a guy's sense of self worth. This most often happens when a guy is very young and quite impressionable. For gay men, the gay culture talks about big dick. The nude models and the porno stars often have huge cocks or are made to look like they have them. Men are 20 years behind women. Women started getting rid of the big tit bullshit then. We are just getting our consciousness raised.

Quote from a guy who emailed this site:

Yeah, I'm 2 and a quarter inches erect. I often also think these guys with 4 and 5" are lucky. I guess, it's all relative, eh?

More comments on penis size from the small penis forums!

I joined the gym and psyched myself to shower there after a work out. Walked in.... heart began beating, waited a few minutes, wanted to strip off, couldn't do it, then left. It's the fears that are killing me, not the size. How do you get rid of the fears ? That's the question!! Advice, general chat welcome. Personal experiences always appreciated. Thanks to all.

First response:

I am a chubby Asian American gay male with 3.5 inches hard. I used to think being gay was a curse. The same was true of being chubby. But I used to think the biggest curse was the small curse. Sometimes I'm not even 1.5 inches soft...it doesn't look good in the shower. All of these "curses" combined to make me a sexual recluse. I didn't have my first sexual contact until I was in my early thirties. So I missed out on life. Don't let penis size make you a recluse. You may get bumped and bruised in the process, but those bumps and bruises are better than hiding from sex or hiding from life.

But those curses kept me from having sex during a time when there was little known about HIV/AIDS... Maybe those curses saved my life? I'll never know for sure. How does one overcome having a small cock? How does one overcome being a different race or religion? How does one overcome being fat or skinny; tall or short? How does one overcome being different looking, being too young, too old, being blond, being brunette or a redhead? It's really all the same. We all have preferences. And no matter who you are, you may be rejected or made fun of because of any number of reasons. Things that you have no control over. Being rejected or ridiculed for having a small penis is especially painful. Most of the guys here know that for a fact. But there is nothing any of us can do about having a small dick - at least not in the physical size sense. There is no reliable way to make it bigger. So what are the alternatives?

Accept what you have: enjoy it...it certainly has the capability to give you great pleasure... and that pleasure is transferable to you partner. A shared enjoyable mutual experience. Find out what pleases her...maybe it's your tongue and lips... maybe it's the way you use your hands on her entire body. Maybe you'll find that you are much more than a dick. Have confidence. Having any size dick doesn't make you a man. There's just so much more to it?

Think of your favorite male heroes... how big are their dicks? We don't know. Yet, we consider them to be real men... because of attitude, persona and spirit. Improve yourself. Work on technique. Don't look to improve superficial things. Learn to listen, converse. Personality, humor, overcome shyness and unreasonable fear. You've made a first great step... joining a gym. The first step is always going to be a difficult one. The problem is that in a locker room, the guys who are better endowed are not afraid to shower and strut their stuff... almost everyone else goes home sweaty and smelly because of their insecurities. The fact is there are many men who are average and larger than average that fear public nudity. Even on this board there are some who refer to being small as a curse; the funny part is that some of them are average and above average in size.

Now, honestly... from your description, you are small. So how does that change the world... What if everyone in the world knows? What would happen if the other men in the locker room saw your small penis? Does their opinion matter? Why are they looking at your cock in the first place if they are straight men? So what if everyone in the world knew you had a small penis? Then it wouldn't be an issue! Women who have to have a big one wouldn't give you the time of day yet you'd be free of the fear that people might find out. Guess what? You'll become more self confident. You will find that many of the fears that you have are completely unfounded. You will enjoy life more...much more. So what do you have to lose? Think about it. It's like being a closeted gay man. It's hard to live life in a closet, but once you come out you can join the rest of the world. It seems that there is a closet full of straight small penis-ed guys just waiting to experience life. Take the first step: shower. And please share the experience!

Second response:

I have a small penis. About 3.5 inches erect.

I deal with it the same way I deal with being gay.

I deal with it the same way I deal with being overweight.

I deal with it the same way I deal with getting older.

I deal with it the same way I deal with being Asian American.

I deal with it the same way I deal with being reasonably smart.

I deal with it the same way I deal with being good natured.

I deal with it the same way I deal with having a sense of humor.

That is who I am. And I am proud of each of those things, regardless of what others may think. Regardless of what false values, morals and ideals others propagate. I can only be who I am and cannot or will not change for anyone. Therefore; the only alternative is to take pride in who you are. My small penis gives me great joy, and it gives great joy to others. And those who would reject me for any of the things that define me are the losers, not me. It's too much work, worry and anxiety trying to "hide" the fact that I have a small penis, so instead I flaunt it -- along with the other things I am proud of: Instead of hiding from life, I revel in it. No man should have to withdraw from life because he feels his penis is too small. It is a "small" part of who the man is, of who we all are.

There are women and men who would reject a man with a small cock... just as they would because he has too much hair, not enough hair, is the wrong height, wrong race, has the wrong color eyes, wrong religion... but all those wrongs are "right" for someone. Some people don't make judgment based on any of those factors. They judge you by the kind of person you are...what's in your mind and heart...those are the people we want to know, and should know. Rejoice in the fact that you have a penis, regardless of what few may think! Shed your fears and inhibitions and enjoy yourself. I guarantee you will not regret it.

A final thought

shirt.jpeg (90881 bytes)

It may be difficult for men with average or large dicks to understand the obsession that can develop in less well-endowed individuals. After all, why should it be such a matter of concern? Well, we equate penis size with manhood. Quite incorrectly, of course. But who wouldn't be impressed with the penis on view above?